Missing Shabbat Candles
I’m lighting the Shabbat candles this week and every week at sundown with a tear in my eye and a prayer on my lips for God to safeguard us.
My Personal Infertility Story
I want to highlight one important piece of this story. Anyone who is struggling to have a child, whatever the reason, feels a complex jumble of emotions.
My Secondary Infertility Story
Secondary infertility is real, painful and heartbreaking, with the guilt that you already have a child/children, and you may look as if you are not struggling at all.
Medical Management Miscarriage Story
That Friday night was the worse night of my life!! The pain and trauma and blood loss that I went through, I would not wish it on ... my worse enemy.
Mikvah Feelings
It’s been a long time since I was in that stage of my life, the emotions and stress of mikvah night during the years when we kept losing babies come rushing back.
Therapy and G-d
So, keep G-d a part of your life, if He is already there, but don’t forgo therapy because you think G-d will take care of you. Because He can’t... until you start to help yourself.
You Do You
This is not about tackling that long forgotten home improvement project. This is not about finishing that manuscript for which you never seemed to have time.
Grateful & Hateful
Before I was in the situation I’m currently in, I used to say those things to other people too, and I only meant it in a well-meaning way.
I Was Supposed To
“I was supposed to be sick for 9 weeks as my body worked to create you, I was supposed to get pregnant and now I need to let you go”
Mourning During Covid
And through my tears I pray for what I thought was. I pray for peace and health. I pray for those suffering from the pandemic. I pray for the world to heal. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jealous of Pregnancy
And I feel horrible that I’m jealous of a friend that got that joy for even a little bit. I know that must be hurtful to people that went through the pain of losing.
Still Very Much Unpregnant
For those of you still very much unpregnant, I get it. It’s hard. It’s lonely. It’s anxiety-provoking. It makes you feel like a failure.”
Infertility and Privacy
Choosing privacy means that you’re taking charge of your unique journey. You own the story, not the other way around.
Grief During Quarantine
“I had a 7 week loss right after all of society went into quarantine and it’s been the loneliest period of my life. I know that it’s a crazy time.”
Infertility Is Being Trapped
Being trapped in a situation where you feel like you should’ve graduated years ago. Watching the people around you move on and level up.
Celebrating Mother’s Day
I will get there. I am working OVERTIME to become a mother. Mother’s Day is to celebrate anyone caring for others, giving to others.
Infertility: Forever Waiting
When will the time be right? When will Hashem (G-d) hear me crying out to him in pain, calling to Him from the depths of my heart and soul Can He hear me?
Counting
“Six weeks Six weeks since my lifeless fetus was removed from uterus. 42 days 42 days since my dreams and hopes were ripped from heart. 1,008 hours.”
Secondary Infertility Affects Our Children
It’s hard to be an only child when every family around you is much larger. It’s hard being disappointed year after year, asking and praying for a baby sister and brother, but never getting one.
Not What You Think
“After denying that anything was wrong and then realizing that so much was wrong, I spent the next few months going to doctors and and getting tests.”