Rachel Shanken joins Aimee Baron, MD to talk about her journey to becoming an adoptive parent, something she never envisioned herself doing, the heartbreaking conversation as a single woman in her 30s when her doctors said that she may never have biological children and how she got married, but then struggled through the ups and downs of umpteen failed cycles to try to get pregnant.

What are some things that Jewish adoptees and families wish their communities knew?

This eye-opening resource comes from the Adoption and Jewish Identity Project @adoptionjewishidentity which was borne out of research they did, from surveys and oral histories they took from a diverse group of Jewish adoptees raised in American Jewish families.

Many people consider adoption not because they ran out of options.

They adopt because they want to give a child a loving home.

How does one move on from here? While her story is unique, there are so many pieces that are not. The fear. The pain. The loss of control. Powerlessness. Feeling that your body betrayed you. The unknown.

This is the a story of molar pregnancy. Please read with kindness and sensitivity in your heart, because this woman is in deep pain.

Read one woman's story about an extopic pregnancy and needing mental health support 10 years later because of the trauma it caused.

“I first started having symptoms back when I got my first period at 13. Ever since then, I remember excruciating pain and my Dr telling me to take 2 days off from school.”

“176 million women live with endometriosis and I am one of them. To me, this enigmatic and commonly misunderstood disease is a symbol of so much more than a simple illness.”

Tonight begins Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year.

And sometimes more than the themes of atonement and forgiveness, people tend to focus on the food...or lack thereof.

What are you eating pre-fast?
You’re not having bagels and lox after?
How about grapes or melon?
You like gatorade before?
I can’t even eat something heavy when it’s done...I only have soup.
It’s so hard. How much more time?

And on and on and on and on.

But more than that, all these questions assume that everyone fasts. Which is absolutely not the case.

So here’s a quick reminder that it’s none of your business if someone is or is not fasting.

So on behalf of everyone who doesn’t want to talk about it (in the fertility community and beyond - those with eating disorders or other mental/physical health challenges), please don’t ask.

Ever.

Yom Kippur | Jewish fast | infertility treatment | ttc | ivf | pregnancy announcement | fertility clinic | infertility journey

It’s that time again, and we know so many of you can’t help but take stock of where you are compared to where you hoped you would be.

Wherever you find yourself this yom tov (holiday) season, know we’re right here with you.

Bring the anger, bring the tears, bring the silence - because that counts as prayer too. And please be gentle with the part of you that’s hurting.

Yom Kippur | high holidays | forgiveness | ttc | miscarriage | primary infertility | Jewish women | Orthodox Jews

Sending my love to all of you for a peaceful, restful, shabbos.

And please be gentle with yourself xoxo

❤️ Aimee

There are some people who WISH they could have even a tiny bit of what you have. Please be kind.

Primary infertility | miscarriages | recurrent loss | stillbirth | baby loss | back to school | end of summer | Jewish women | Jewish family

You can always tell us. Thank you for sharing your story - we are holding you ❤️‍🩹🫂

#jewishwomen #jewishwoman #miscarriage #stillbirth #fertility #infertility #infertilitysupport #fertilityjourney #support #groups #loss #pain #grief #reminder #surrogate #surrogacy #tfmr #trimester #pregnant #pregnancy #pregnancyloss #recurrentloss #personal #story #community #chronicillness #chronic #undiagnosed #chemicalpregnancy

You don’t need perfect words to support someone through infertility or loss.
You just need to show up. Gently. Consistently. Without pressure or expectation.

💗Sometimes that looks like a heartfelt check-in.

🥤Sometimes it looks like iced coffee on the porch.

🫂Sometimes it’s just letting them know they’re not alone.

This carousel is packed with real texts you can send when someone you love is hurting.

Copy, paste, tweak. Whatever you do, just don’t stay silent.

Because silence can feel like abandonment. And no one deserves to be “left on read.”

Help us keep showing up for everyone in our community who needs our support. Donate to our fundraiser today. 

Here are some grief books we recommend

Thank you to this follower for sharing this beautifully devastating poem 💔🫂

So many ups. So many more downs.

Thank you to this follower for sharing her story 🫂

You are going to get through this.

If you’re holding your breath between appointments, you’re not alone.

Pregnancy after infertility is holding onto so many emotions

So many of you have written about your relationships and marriages being strained through the journey of infertility or after a loss, that it’s worth mentioning here.

“I’ve never told a single soul this, but the biggest reason I don’t want to do IVF is because I don’t think my marriage is strong enough to endure it.”

“Yet, we don't have kids to play with their kids at shabbos meals, go to afternoon activities with, or go to museums with. We have tried to fit in, but maybe it's better to not even try.”

When you’re struggling to build your family, it’s so easy to get caught in a cycle of judgment. We judge ourselves for not being “strong enough.” We judge our partners. We judge friends who mean well but say the wrong thing. Sometimes, we even judge life itself for being so unfair.

This journey can send us into panic and desperation, riding an emotional rollercoaster that takes our self-esteem up and down. And before we know it, we’re stuck in the blame game—blaming ourselves, others, or anyone in reach.

As we enter the holidays, we want to invite you to think about forgiveness—not as some grand, sweeping gesture, but as a gentle starting point. Forgiving ourselves for not being perfect. Forgiving others for fumbling their words or not understanding. Forgiving the idea that this process has to look a certain way.

Take a moment to recognize just how much you’ve already carried. Remind yourself that you’re human, and you’ve shown tremendous strength in simply continuing forward, no matter how hard it’s been.
And one more thing: please forgive us, too. We know we haven’t always been everything you needed this year.

💔Sometimes your messages went unanswered, or took too long.

💔Sometimes a program, a post, or a speaker didn’t land right.

💔Sometimes our words might have hurt when we wanted them to comfort.

For those moments, we are deeply sorry. Our intention has always been to hold you with love and remind you that you are seen and not alone.

Xoxo,
Aimee

Forgiveness | high holidays | Yom Kippur | fertility support | Jewish fertility | Jewish holiday | day of forgiveness | ivf | miscarriage | stillbirth

This time of year is so complex and filled with such a mix of emotions. This submission so beautifully captures what’s been on our hearts during these weeks.

Infertility and loss community | fertility journey | Jewish women | high holidays | hope | infertility life

This anonymous author beautifully outlines the many emotions this time of year ❤️‍🩹

Give yourself the space to feel it all, we’ll be here to hold you through it

#jewishnewyear #ivf #miscarriage #ttc #primaryinfertility #jewishwomen

We’ve unpacked it all when it comes to surrogacy—one episode at a time.

Because let’s be real—family-building isn’t a ‘just’ situation. Every journey is unique, and kindness goes a long way.

Surrogacy, infertility, and loss can feel so isolating.

The mikvah can be a deeply emotional experience—especially for those navigating infertility, loss, or pain. Even well-meaning comments can unintentionally cause hurt.

This post is a gentle reminder: when in doubt, keep it simple.
Be supportive. Be respectful. Most importantly, be quiet when silence is more healing than words.

Spoiler alert: we don’t.

Someone else’s fertility journey isn’t the place for your dreams of grandkids, nieces, or nephews.