Infertility and Privacy
From @blmaslowmd
“To wrap up National Infertility Awareness Week, I wanted to talk about sharing. The story of infertility has changed in the past few decades. We’ve broken down stereotypes, dispelled myths, and dismantled the stigma associated with infertility and pregnancy loss. As a community, we are indebted to those who took to podiums, blogs, and social media to share their fertility journey with the world. In turn, so many have found support through their stories.
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But not everyone wants to share their story. I’m here to make sure they know that’s OK!
I’m private by nature. I sometimes mention that my husband’s cancer diagnosis sparked my career as a fertility doctor, but I’ve always been light on the details.
On purpose
Not because I am ashamed
Not because I am embarrassed
Not because I am afraid
Because our personal story is just that - personal.
That complex, tragic, painful period is an important and meaningful chapter of our family’s legacy. With time we’ve learned to digest those years and in return we’ve gained perspective on the ongoing journey that is our family.
All without sharing publicly.
Still I questioned myself.
Was I “doing it wrong?”
Sometimes it seemed the only way was the public way.
I’m so glad I trusted my instinct.
We found strength.
We healed.
We’ve been privileged to help others in all sorts of private ways.
We found our path
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There is a big difference between privacy and secrecy.
Secrecy comes from shame and fear, which is something no one should have to feel.
Privacy is a choice.
There is no wrong way to cope.
So much is out of your control, the choice to share publically or selectively or not at all belongs to you.
It is a source of strength not weakness.
Choosing to be private does not mean you are silenced.
It does not mean you don’t have hopeless.
Privacy does not mean being alone.
We had (and still have) a wonderful support system. The fact that we weathered the storm is in many ways a testament to the amazing people who were in our lives to share that moment with us.
Choosing privacy means that you’re taking charge of your unique journey.
You own the story, not the other way around.”