Mothers day is coming
Mother's Day is hard.
For anyone navigating infertility, loss, or a complicated relationship with this holiday, it can feel like the whole world is celebrating something that still feels out of reach.
If someone in your life is struggling to build their family, make a donation in their honor by Wednesday, May 6th, and we'll send them a beautiful card on Mother's Day morning, Sunday, May 10th, with a heartfelt message.
It's a small gesture that can mean everything.
There are three card designs to choose from, and a minimum donation of $36 is all it takes. If you'd like to send a card to more than one person, you can submit the form again from the confirmation page.
Order today at the link in bio
Mother's Day | Jewish Women | Jewish Community | Villages
Things I am carrying that no one knows
Dear Infertility
It is not your fault
Infertility is…
It makes you human.
Hearing the news while trying to stop the tears from pouring out in that moment is so painful
That doesn't make you a bad sister, friend, or confidant
It makes you human
Infertility | Fertility Journey | Primary Infertility | Secondary Infertility
When life doesn’t go as planned…its painful
When life doesn't go as planned, it's painful
Maybe it's when we thought we'd get married, have kids, or choose schools
Whatever the circumstances, having to adjust your dreams and course-correct is a long and uncomfortable process
We're here to sit alongside you as you work through what you hoped for and the unknown
Fertility Journey | Circumstantial Infertility | Pregnancy Loss | Infertility
4 Harmful Myths about Black Women's Fertility Journeys
Myths and Facts about fertility journeys among Black women and families
Learn more at https://www.illumefertility.com/fertility-blog/dispelling-myths-surrounding-fertility-and-women-of-color
Black Maternal Health | Black History Month | Infertility | IVF
Listen to Black Women
Listen to Black women.
Listen to Black women.
Listen to Black women.
Black Maternal Mortality | Jews of Color | Fertility Journey
To our Partners & Spouses…
While we're the ones physically feeling the losses and cycles, we know this is hard for you too, even when we forget to show it
Marriage | Partnership | Loss | Grief
What he says vs What she hears
What we say, what we mean, and what the other person hears can, and often is, three different things
Marriage | Relationship | Couples | Communication
Understanding how to respond
Just because there are two people in a relationship and they go through exactly the same thing, it doesn’t mean that they will feel the same way about it, or grieve as long.
Typically, women grieve longer and harder than men or their partners, who do not carry the pregnancy, because it’s an event that’s happening outside of their body. They feel sad, and they grieve, but they don’t experience the physical or hormonal changes of a pregnancy or a loss. They’re one step removed. This can lead to frustration and discontent from the side that seems to be “carrying” all of the pain, and from the other side, who is often ready to move through the pain.
The disconnect is compounded by society's insistence on a time limit for grief. There’s an unwritten rule that states the shorter the pregnancy, the shorter the amount of time that you’re “allowed” to grieve. And for some, this is true; they grieve a stillbirth for a longer period of time than a chemical pregnancy.
The problem is that this doesn’t account for so many other factors.
-Maybe that chemical pregnancy was after 5 years of IVF with the only good embryo.
-Maybe everyone else is also pregnant now, and that 6-week loss is always on her mind as she compares herself with her friends.
-Maybe she was the first in the family to get married and then pregnant, but having a stillbirth means that another sibling will get the honor of having the first grandchild.
There are so many things we don’t know.
What we do know is that grief should have no limitations and that each person needs to be treated with kindness and sensitivity after a loss.
Pregnancy & Infant Loss | Grief | Marriage | Relationships | Fertility Journey
Marriage is…
Sometimes, marriage is just falling apart together
Sometimes it's just white-knuckling your way through together
Sometimes it's sitting at a baby naming when all you want to do is run out the door together
Sometimes it's tolerating inappropriate questions together
Marriage | Jewish Community | Infertility | Relationships
Fertility Acronyms: Relationship
Infertility acronyms, but make it marriage/couples/partner related
Marriage | Relationships | Fertility Journey
Reminder: Taharat HaMishpacha
When we talk about Taharat HaMishpacha (family purity laws), we often hear about the "spark" it adds to a marriage.
But for those struggling with infertility or loss, the reality is often much heavier.
The transition between states can feel like a physical reminder of a body that isn't doing what you hoped it would.
If this ritual feels more like a burden than a blessing this month, you aren't "doing it wrong." Your feelings are valid.
Taharat HaMishpacha | Halacha | Mikvah
Mikvah Feelings
To those of you who feel like you have zero energy for this mitzvah:
We see you.
Mikvah | Jewish Community | Infertility | Fertility Treatment | Pregnancy Loss | Miscarriage
Going to Mikvah this month
he mikvah is meant to be a space of transition, but when you’re waiting, it can feel like a painful monthly marker of what hasn't happened yet.
It is okay if it feels more like a chore than a spiritual moment right now.
It is okay if you feel a sense of failure, or like your body is broken.
When the world feels infuriatingly unfair, please know your feelings are valid.
Mikvah | Ritual Bath | Taharat HaMishpacha | Validation | Jewish Community
Mikvah
Standing at the door of the mikvah can feel like standing at the edge of a vast, painful silence.
It is incredibly heavy to bring a heart full of disappointment to a space that is often associated with new beginnings and hope.
When your body feels like it has let you down, stepping into those waters can feel less like a spiritual reset and more like a confrontation with what is missing.
If you are struggling to find your way back to that space tonight, or any night, please know:
• Your anger and your hurt are allowed to exist, even in holy spaces.
• You do not have to "fix" your feelings before you immerse.
• It is okay if the only prayer you have right now is a question.
Mikvah | Ritual Bath | Taharat HaMishpacha | Faith | Body Grief | Struggles | Community | Jewish Life | Support
Don’t comment on people’s bodies
Don't comment on people's bodies.
Don't comment on people's bodies.
Don't comment on people's bodies.
Mikvah | Ritual Bath | Taharat HaMishpacha | Jewish Community | Infertility
Months Together: Mikvah Edition
The relationship with the mikvah (ritual bath) changes so much when month one turns into month twelve.
What starts as a new ritual can quickly become a monthly reminder of what hasn't happened yet. It is a lot to ask of a person—to show up, to prepare, and to find meaning in a cycle that feels like it’s breaking your heart.
It is possible for this mitzvah to feel both holy and heavy at the same time.
Mikvah | Infertility | Jewish Life | Waiting | Monthly Cycles | Support | Community