Instead of “I Know How You Feel”
Look, there always such a black and white distinction between what is appropriate and not appropriate to say to someone who is going through infertility or loss.
Really…. How Are You?
When was the last time you actually took the time and asked people how they were…really. Have you ever stopped to actually listen to the answer?
Infertility & the Workplace
“I waited around at my current role too long before looking elsewhere for a critical career move, hoping I would get pregnant and have some stability at work by staying.”
Pregnant For One Week
“I was pregnant for 7 days and 7 nights. After doing my one billionth cycle of IVF, I had my first positive HCG. After 42 and a half years I was finally pregnant.”
Termination for Medical Reasons: “It’s Been A Year”
“It's been a year since I saw the flicker of the heartbeat on the screen. A year since I heard the heartbeat and allowed myself to dream.”
“I Wish I Had Never Given My Baby a Name”
“I calculated that I'd be due on May the 4th, so I nicknamed him/her ‘Baby Yoda.’ I thought that was so cute. I wish I had never given my baby a name.”
I Want A Baby
“I want a baby I want to feel the joy of a positive pregnancy test I want to feel the first twinge of morning sickness I want to feel that overwhelming exhaustion.”
Hiding In My Bed
“I've been down this route before but every single time my soul dies a little more And the world keeps on turning And somehow I will move on.”
Dear Baby
“Dearest baby, Each month, I wait for you Each month, I hope for you Each month, I dream about you I dream about touching your tiny hands and feet.”
Who Holds Space for the Birthkeeper
Who Holds Space for the Birthkeeper “Placing your hands on a beautiful, round belly and feeling movement inside While feeling a sudden stillness in your own womb”
Don’t Call Me Strong
“I’d rather never be called strong or resilient again By never having to prove I haven’t yet been broken Does it prove weakness when your strength is not tested.”
If You Only Understood
Sharing two pieces. The first talks about one woman’s personal account of her infertility and the second talks about the pain one feels when others get pregnant.
Letter To Unborn Baby
A letter written to my baby with no heartbeat. To my unborn baby: I don’t why Hashem (G-d) Chose to give you to me And then take you away I don’t know why we were given this test.”
Looking Back and Forward
This time of year brings up a lot of emotions for everyone. We remember where we were last year at this time, physically, spiritually and emotionally.
Keeping It Together
You can only keep it together for so long. You need a place to be able to let it all out - a space that feels warm and nurturing and cozy.
Forgiveness & Boundaries
There should always be an element of forgiveness, but with the adult recognition that you may need to protect yourself against further insult.
Miscarriage Loss
“The due date. I didn’t bother calculating it. Why get my hope up only to be heartbroken again. So now I’m terrified to get pregnant. But I’m more terrified not to.”
Friends and Missing Out
“Yet, we don't have kids to play with their kids at shabbos meals, go to afternoon activities with, or go to museums with. We have tried to fit in, but maybe it's better to not even try.”
Partner Against IVF
My husband and I couldn’t be on more different pages. Nothing has made me hate him more.I feel so alone in this because it literally seems like no one else has this issue.
The Impact
Because we need the fuzzy blankets, the homemade cookies, the hugs, the friends and the kindness. Those are the things that we carry with us, in our hearts, long beyond our losses.