Do not ask if anyone is fasting.
Tonight begins Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year.
And sometimes more than the themes of atonement and forgiveness, people tend to focus on the food...or lack thereof.
What are you eating pre-fast?
You’re not having bagels and lox after?
How about grapes or melon?
You like gatorade before?
I can’t even eat something heavy when it’s done...I only have soup.
It’s so hard. How much more time?
And on and on and on and on.
But more than that, all these questions assume that everyone fasts. Which is absolutely not the case.
So here’s a quick reminder that it’s none of your business if someone is or is not fasting.
So on behalf of everyone who doesn’t want to talk about it (in the fertility community and beyond - those with eating disorders or other mental/physical health challenges), please don’t ask.
Ever.
Yom Kippur | Jewish fast | infertility treatment | ttc | ivf | pregnancy announcement | fertility clinic | infertility journey
63 questions to ask on Rosh Hashanah
Here are 613 things to talk about at your Rosh Hashanah tables that have nothing to do with pregnancy or babies…
Ok fine, maybe just 63 topics🍎
Jewish family | Rosh Hashanah | table talk | infertility journey | ivf support
14 posts I saved this week
In a week that has been particularly heavy, I send you all my love and hugs. Hope you can find pockets of peace and joy this Shabbos ❤️
Xoxo,
Aimee
#fridayfeels
Cheat Sheet
Last week, we started creating a new “cheat sheet” series for different points in a fertility journey and for moments in the Jewish calendar that can feel especially heavy. Each one has practical ideas for getting through. (More coming next week!)
The plan was to post this today, but I was too overwhelmed with the news and needed to lean on my own advice to be able to show up here again.
I got outside and walked a bit. Drank some water. Had some yummy babka. Texted a friend. Decided not to do any cooking for RH today. And just let my mind veg.
Because the world is so heavy right now that I just couldn’t.
And when you can’t either, here’s something you can come back to.
#emotionallydrained #selfcarematters #feelingdrained #miscarriage #tfmr #adoption #donorconceived #ivf #jewishcommunity #jewishwomen #secondaryinfertility #childlessnotbychoice
Asking for help isn’t a burden
Asking for help isn’t a burden.
No one likes standing by watching by while you’re in pain. If anything, you’re giving people the job they secretly want: feeling useful.
Even if that just means showing up with snacks.
#fertilityjourney #infertilitysupport #primaryinfertility #jewishwomen #jewishfamily
10 things that count as self care
Yes, these all count as self-care 🫂
#selfcare #mentalhealth #infertility #fertilityjourney #pregnancyafterloss #jewishwomen #orthodoxjew
Thinking of you
Reaching out to check on someone can make all the difference. Sometimes it’s a conversation, a text, or simply showing up that reminds someone they’re not alone.
Talking about mental health truly saves lives. 💙
September is Suicide Awareness Month, and it’s a reminder to break the silence, check in on each other, and make space for the hard conversations that matter most.
#suicidepreventionmonth #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters
People can be struggling with mental health even if:
You can look totally “fine.”
You can smile, show up, keep working, make the meals, do all the things. People might even compliment you on how “together” you seem.
And meanwhile, inside, you might be falling apart.
That’s what people mean when they talk about “high-functioning depression” or “high-functioning anxiety.” On the outside, it can look like life is moving along. But on the inside, there might be guilt, exhaustion, despair, or just trying to hold it together moment to moment.
Depression is so much more than whether you can go to work or host a Shabbos meal for 20. Mental health struggles don’t always look the way you expect.
That’s why compassion—for others and for ourselves—isn’t just nice, it’s necessary.
. 💙
#SuicideAwarenessMonth #MentalHealthAwareness
Reminder: It’s okay to lean on others
It takes so much strength to admit when you need help. I remember when I was dealing with all of my losses (for those of you who don’t know - I had six miscarriages), I just felt like there was no one else in the world who could understand.
And you know what - I was right. No one knew exactly how it felt.
But you know what people did know? So many people had their own hardships and pain, and had been through horrific tragedies. And even though it wasn’t exactly the same, their advice and wisdom helped get me through some really, really dark days.
But if I hadn’t reached out, I never would have gotten the support I needed. If I would have stayed in my corner, I might not have learned how other people crawled out.
It’s okay to not have all the answers. Lean on others who do.
#selfcare #infertilityjourney #pregnancyloss #jewushwomen #jewishcommunity #infertilitysupport
Sometimes I wish
Sending love to all of you out there who are still wishing…
Infertility | fertility journey | IVF | iui | infertile | primary infertility | secondary infertility | Jewish community | Jewish woman | Jewish | Jewish family
You wouldn’t know by looking at this photo that…
Just a little background for those of you who are new here…
❤️Feel free to ask me any questions!❤️
#infertility #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #jewishwomen #jewishwoman #nonprofitsofinstagram #jewishcommunity #fertilitysupport #fertilityjourney
Side by Side
In this deeply moving reflection, Rivka Beck (@rivkabeck52) shares what five years of infertility, pregnancy loss, and rebuilding have looked like—from countless treatments and four heartbreaking losses to learning how to carry grief alongside joy.
If you’re grieving too, this is for you. There’s room for your pain.
And remember, you don’t have to be okay to keep going.
Texts to send
You don’t need perfect words to support someone through infertility or loss.
You just need to show up. Gently. Consistently. Without pressure or expectation.
💗Sometimes that looks like a heartfelt check-in.
🥤Sometimes it looks like iced coffee on the porch.
🫂Sometimes it’s just letting them know they’re not alone.
This carousel is packed with real texts you can send when someone you love is hurting.
Copy, paste, tweak. Whatever you do, just don’t stay silent.
Because silence can feel like abandonment. And no one deserves to be “left on read.”
Help us keep showing up for everyone in our community who needs our support. Donate to our fundraiser today.
The silence of infertility-Man’s perspective
We’re bringing this post back because stories like this deserve to be heard—again and again.
He never expected infertility to be his story.
He didn’t grow up with the language for loss, or the space to grieve what couldn’t be seen.
But when he shared his experience, it echoed across this community. Because male infertility is real. It’s common. And it’s too often met with silence.
We see you. We hear you. We hold you.
Kveller
“Oh no, not again.
I was sitting in synagogue when an all-too-familiar feeling washed over me. I felt the tears stinging my eyes, the urge to ugly blubber rising to the surface.
I cannot make a spectacle of myself in shul again. Hold it together, Rachel.
But how could I? The rabbi was giving his pre-Yizkor sermon, the speech given before the traditional communal prayer to memorialize deceased family members.
You’re a link in a chain,” he repeated throughout his speech, reminding us all of the very Jewish idea that we must remember the past in order to build a better future. We memorialize those lost so we can teach our children the lessons previous generations taught us, continuing the chain of our peoplehood.
Except I will never be a link in a chain...”
____________
Beautiful piece by our board member, Rachel Honeyman
Link to the full article is in our stories and our bio
Childless not by choice | infertility | IVF | miscarriage | Jewish woman
Fertility Grief Part 3
@shoshanastavsky, who has gone through her own fertility journey and a breast cancer survivor, writes about the feelings that are sitting in all of our hearts and gives meaning to the pain. Thank you. 💔❤️💔 “Grief looks like seeing the bottom of a pint of Ben & Jerrys in one sitting.”
#fertility #infertility #infertilitysupport #fertilityjourney #support #groups #group #supportgroup #loss #pain #grief #surrogacy #miscarriage #tfmr #trimester #pregnant #pregnancy #pregnancyloss #fertilityawareness #grieving #heartbreak #heartbreaking #grieving #announcement #duedate #motherhood #parenthood #judaism #jewish
You can still grieve
You don’t have to justify your grief.
Not to others. Not to yourself.
There’s no grief “criteria” you need to meet.
No timeline. No rulebook. No “right” way.
Whether it was your first loss or your fifth…
Whether you cried for days or stayed numb…
Whether anyone else knew or understood—
your grief is real.
We’re here to honor it. To hold it. To hold you.
#fertility#infertility#infertilitysupport#fertilityjourney#support#groups#group#supportgroup#loss#pain#grief#surrogacy#miscarriage#tfmr#trimester#pregnant#pregnancy#pregnancyloss#fertilityawareness#grieving#heartbreak#heartbreaking#grieving#announcement#duedate#motherhood#parenthood#judaism#jewish
Coping in 3 weeks
Not everyone feels ready to dive into the grief of the Three Weeks. Sometimes just holding steady feels like a big win.
If you’re in a season of quiet healing, if you’ve finally caught your breath and don’t want to lose it again—you’re not wrong for that.
Jewish tradition makes room for mourning, yes—but it also makes room for mercy.
Take what serves you. Leave what doesn’t. You’re allowed to honor your healing on your own terms.
#fertility #infertility #infertilitysupport #fertilityjourney #support #groups #group #supportgroup #loss #pain #grief #surrogacy #miscarriage #tfmr #trimester #pregnant #pregnancy #pregnancyloss #fertilityawareness #grieving #heartbreak #heartbreaking #grieving #announcement #duedate #motherhood #parenthood #judaism #jewish #threeweeks #3weeks
Fertility Grief Part 2
This time of mourning mirrors what so many of us carry privately: the emptiness, the waiting, the longing, the loss.
You’re not alone in the silence. You’re not forgotten in the grief.
#fertility #infertility #infertilitysupport #fertilityjourney #support #groups #group #supportgroup #loss #pain #grief #surrogacy #miscarriage #tfmr #trimester #pregnant #pregnancy #pregnancyloss #fertilityawareness #grieving #heartbreak #heartbreaking #grieving #announcement #duedate #motherhood #parenthood #judaism #jewish #holiday
