Partner Against IVF

“I really wish there was a special support group for women with infertility whose husbands are against IVF.

It’s the most lonely thing and it seriously can destroy your marriage. I sometimes hate my husband so much for his belief system in this and I feel like I’m the only one with this particular issue. You see all these Instagram videos of couples holding each other and going through this together, while my husband and I couldn’t be on more different pages.

Nothing has made me hate him more.

I feel so alone in this because it literally seems like no one else has this issue.

Like I speak to my friends struggling with infertility and they all have their own specific challenges, but I’ve never heard anyone have a husband who fundamentally believes that ivf is not fully fulfilling the mitzvah of p’ru u’revu (the commandment of “be fruitful and multiply”). It’s such a tired fight already at this point. We are doing ivf (I have two kids totally without needing ivf which adds to our fights about how much is this really necessary), but it is soooo hard to be doing something like ivf with so much tension and aloneness. I can honestly say I’m at one of the lowest points in my life, and for the first time ever, I cursed at Hashem (G-d) yesterday.

I don’t know who my relationship feels more strained with — My husband or G-d.”

-sent in by an anonymous follower who is feeling very alone