Halachic Infertility
PSA: This next story about Halachic infertility is hard to read. And why are we sharing her story? Because IWSTHAB's mission is to hold space, comfort and validate anyone who is struggling to have a child.
Being Single
We share these heartbreaking words with you so that you can understand a little bit more about how hard it is for them to be carrying the weight of not being married AND not having children.
Egg Freezing is Personal
Some people will freeze their eggs. Some people won't. It's a personal decision, much like a couple's decision to pursue fertility treatment (IUI, IVF).
Circumstantial Infertility: Having to Wait
“I didn't struggle with fertility physically, thank G-d, but there were emotional and situational elements, things coming up around parenthood, my childhood, and existential questions.”
Sexual Abuse & Infertility
We are not going to be able to do justice to the myriad of ways that someone who is s3xually abused is traumatized. But this too, can be another reason why someone has circumstantial infertility.
Kvatter Thoughts
This morning, I was asked to be kvatter for someone. I had no idea who the couple was. I was told "it's a segulah." To which I explained "Yes. We've struggled for over 4 years...I'm aware."
Circumstantial Infertility: “My Body Just Can’t Do It”
“Anything that prevents you from holding that baby you dream about at night is infertility and challenging. Yes, I can get pregnant, but doing this again is petrifying."
This is Pregnancy After Loss
With pregnancy after loss, there are so many emotions. Disbelief. Emptiness. Hope. Regret. Guilt. Doubt. Excitement. Fear. Joy. Relief. Here is one woman’s thoughts.
Day 8: Worthy of Rest
You ARE worthy of a nap, a break, and some time off. You deserve it. Pat yourself on the back for getting through whatever life has thrown at you. Because this stuff is hard. Really, really hard.
Day 5: Worthy of Hugs
The fertility community also knows that sometimes a hug is the answer when there isn’t anything good to say. But it can have so many other benefits... *Hugs can make you happier.*
Day 4: Worthy of Love
Even if your body and/or mind are betraying you, you shouldn’t loathe your own self, your own body. They say you can only control yourself - we argue that you can’t even fully control that.
Day 3: Worthy of Praise
Your advice, while seemingly harmless, only serves as a way to tell me I did something wrong. It tells me that you believe I could have caused this situation with something I did (or didn’t do).
Day 2: Worthy of Trust
Trust goes both ways in the fertility community. When you're struggling, you want to know that the person you chose to listen to your problems can hold and support you without judgment.
Day 1: Worthy of Inclusion
DAY 1 I am worthy of not being excluded. Includes suggestions for how to make your Chanukah space inclusive this year. Small gestures go a long way into making people feel more included.
8 Days of Worthiness
We offer you IWSTHAB’s 8 Days Of Worthiness. No matter where you are on this journey, you are worthy of it all. You are worthy of expecting others to treat you with kindness.
“Everyone Has Kids Here”
Don't ask people how many kids they have. Why? Because of statistics. 1 out of 6 couples are dealing with some kind of infertility and 1 out of 4 pregnancies end in a loss.
Gossip
When you're struggling to have a child, gossip can be even more upsetting. Because if they're talking about everyone else's uterus, they're talking about yours too.
Don’t Say This!
Think before you speak. We could write a book about all the comments people have shared with us in the last week. And maybe one day, we will.
All They Want Is You
The item you send is just a manifestation of your love, so it actually doesn’t matter what it is. What matters more is the person behind the chocolate.
Continue To Reach Out
We know that people tend to forget about those who are in it for the long haul. It’s much “easier” to show up for someone in a crisis. So please, don't forget about them.