Day 1: Worthy of Inclusion
DAY 1
I am worthy of not being excluded.
“Chanukah is particularly frustrating for me. I don't have kids, so I rarely get gifts. When I do get a gift, it’s usually something like socks or a scarf. My siblings, nieces and nephews are showered with gifts and I feel like an afterthought. The truth is, I don’t care about the gift. I just want to feel worthy and respected, and equal even though I don’t and may never have children. Somehow, not getting a gift makes me feel worthless when I know I am not.” - Anonymous
***Suggestions for how to make your Chanukah space inclusive this year***
1-Mystery Maccabee! Don’t single out people who have children by giving them nothing (since none of the adults get gifts!) or by giving only to the adults who have children. Mystery Maccabee is a great way to start giving adults gifts again without making it overwhelming.
2-Put the strollers away. Entering and immediately seeing a bunch of strollers can be jarring. If you have enough space to keep them away from the entrance, you might make someone's initial moments much less stressful.
3-Lay off the kid-talk. For those not struggling to build a family, your kids might be the center of your life and current experience. They might be what you talk about all day. We get it. We also know that your kids don’t define you. You are more than just a mother - and you can also talk and connect about other subjects. You can still talk about your kids, but finding space to talk about other topics can be a breath of fresh air to a family member you didn’t even know was struggling to build their family.
4-Give everyone a job. By giving out jobs, everyone feels important and needed for the event to take place - and no one feels left behind. Don’t just put single or childless women to work at the Chanukah party because ‘they have less on their plate.’ You never know what someone is dealing with on their own time.
Remember - If taking on all these ideas are too much for you and your family right now, just try one of them. Small gestures go a long way into making people feel more included.