Egg Freezing is Personal
"I happened to watch your live the other night with Chanie and felt I wanted to reach out regarding one thing.
I’m a 33 year old, part of the right wing YU (Yehsiva University) world, who decided 6 months ago to do an egg freezing cycle, which was b’h (thank gd) very successful. I don’t need to describe to you the anxiety that went into making the decision and the months/year leading up to taking the plunge. I am so glad it is behind me, but when it does come up in conversation with other single friends (only 4 individuals know that I’ve done it, and I plan to keep it that way) I always say and feel, that it’s completely up to the single to make the decision and there is no right or wrong here.
If I heard you correctly- you mentioned that some mothers/ grandmothers reached out to you and asked how they could inquire more/ speak to their daughters about it.
***I would somehow like to convey, that personally, I don’t think that the suggestion/mention should come from a mother/family member, rather a mentor or an individual who the single is close to, if not from the the single themselves.***
We’re speaking about women in their 30s, who are adults and can make these decisions on their own, with the help of others- if asked. I worry, that by bringing this topic into the ‘regular daily conversations’ of the public, it can *possibly hurt* singles more. It would be another thing to add to the ‘list’ of requirements, that men are asking about before saying yes to a women.
It’s impossibly hard as it is in the dating world and I feel this would expose the single even more, adding to all the unrealistic expectations that are already in place.
If we speak about it on public forums and in that way it gives singles ‘a voice’, wonderful, but I hope we can curtail the discussion in a way that egg freezing doesn’t become a must, but rather a private choice."
People often ask what they can do to help the single community and how to be sensitive.
Some people will freeze their eggs. Some people won't.
It's a personal decision, much like a couple's decision to pursue fertility treatment (IUI, IVF). It's our job to support people where they are, instead of making it even harder to get the right kind of shidduchim (matches). What this woman is saying very much rings true - should egg freezing take its place on the list of things a single woman must do to order to be "worthy" of being set up? We hope not.