My Marriage Fell Apart

“Please tell me that I’m not the only one whose marriage fell apart because we couldn’t have a baby.

I knew that we had differences before we started trying, but once it became clear that we were not going to ‘just have sex’ to get that baby, I feel like he started losing interest in me. He became withdrawn most of the time, and then other times he would be super-attentive, almost to make up for it.

We started fighting. A lot. Every single day.

I started therapy and suggested that we both go to try to work on our marriage. How could we bring a baby into this family if we were so broken?

But he refused. He kept saying everything was fine.

And then one day soon afterwards, he left.

I constantly blame myself. It was my issue. I don’t get my periods regularly. My therapist tells me that no one is at fault here- he just wasn’t strong enough to manage this situation and didn’t love me for me. He thought of me as a means to an end.

I just feel so alone. Is there anyone else out there that has gone through marital issues because of this?”

——This post is a compilation of a number of different messages that I have received in the last year. So many of you have written about your relationships and marriages being strained through the journey of infertility or after a loss, that it’s worth mentioning here.

These struggles are very common and you are NOT alone.