Day 3: Worthy of Praise
Your advice, while seemingly harmless, only serves as a way to tell me I did something wrong. It tells me that you believe I could have caused this situation with something I did (or didn’t do).
Day 2: Worthy of Trust
Trust goes both ways in the fertility community. When you're struggling, you want to know that the person you chose to listen to your problems can hold and support you without judgment.
Day 1: Worthy of Inclusion
DAY 1 I am worthy of not being excluded. Includes suggestions for how to make your Chanukah space inclusive this year. Small gestures go a long way into making people feel more included.
8 Days of Worthiness
We offer you IWSTHAB’s 8 Days Of Worthiness. No matter where you are on this journey, you are worthy of it all. You are worthy of expecting others to treat you with kindness.
“Everyone Has Kids Here”
Don't ask people how many kids they have. Why? Because of statistics. 1 out of 6 couples are dealing with some kind of infertility and 1 out of 4 pregnancies end in a loss.
Gossip
When you're struggling to have a child, gossip can be even more upsetting. Because if they're talking about everyone else's uterus, they're talking about yours too.
Don’t Say This!
Think before you speak. We could write a book about all the comments people have shared with us in the last week. And maybe one day, we will.
All They Want Is You
The item you send is just a manifestation of your love, so it actually doesn’t matter what it is. What matters more is the person behind the chocolate.
Continue To Reach Out
We know that people tend to forget about those who are in it for the long haul. It’s much “easier” to show up for someone in a crisis. So please, don't forget about them.
God, Religion & Spirituality
We recently asked the IWSTHAB community about the ways these relationships have changed since starting down this journey and these are some of the responses.
Religious Guilt
Often religious guilt comes with the "kind advice" that things would have been different if you only... Sometimes it even comes with a dose of blame.
God Isn’t a Vending Machine
It's another thing to pray. But it's even a different level to keep praying to the being who runs the world, knowing that you have already been disappointed so many times.
God’s Plan
No matter whether you have radical acceptance or not, this idea can be a very powerful one for people who are stuck in their relationships with Gd.
Quotes About Faith
We hope that a better understanding of how G-d works helps and the idea that anger/grief/pain/struggling and distance is the sign of a true relationship with Him.
Spirituality To Me
We want to remind you that feeling connected to a higher being is sometimes not in the number of pslams you say or how meticulous you are about the mitzvos and rituals.
A Eulogy for a Person Who Never Got to Be
Deeply grateful to Dr. Rachel Rosenthal for allowing us to share her piece, which talks about her latest miscarriage with the themes of communal and personal expectations running throughout.
Pressure Categories
Pressure/Expectations that people feel usually feels like this big weight that people carry with them on a daily basis. But we think that it can be broken down into 3 main categories.
Don’t Gaslight Yourself
Quick reminder that this stuff is hard. Adding outside expectations onto the pressure you already put on yourself to have a certain number of kids, at certain intervals, is EXHAUSTING.
Why Won’t You Come
We are so grateful for this community and appreciate when you share your writings with us. This poem depicts the pain experienced along an infertility journey.
Please Keep Showing Up
“Some people said the worst, but also got it right. So don’t worry about offending. Just take the leap, the jump. And please keep showing up.”