You Can Survive
But, I’m here to tell you that you CAN survive. I don’t know how I did it, but I did. The pain and anxiety was crippling so many times. But I’m here.
Finding a Balance
And that’s exactly my message to all of you. I will keep sharing the hard, the pain, the horrible, the suffering and the awful. But I will also share the good.
Hurtful Comments
But when those comments come from someone you love, you trust, you deem as “safe,” it’s much harder to do the reframing. These are the people who know the depths of your pain.
No Right Way to Do This
Some people grieve for months or years over their 10 week miscarriage and find the whole process so traumatic that they will never try again. And some don’t.
Do I Need Therapy?
We’ve spent a lot of time discussing many different aspects of this, touching on topics like support groups, medication, setting boundaries, toxic positivity, self care, etc.
Toxic Positivity
No matter how many times you tell someone this, it’s just not the way to happiness. It’s the same as forcing the “good vibes only” or “just keep going” shtick. It doesn’t work.
Other’s Coping Mechanisms
We shouldn't judge people's responses to pain from what they are choosing to show to the world. But... (and here's the big "but" - you knew it was coming!)
Comparing Family Size
Hold your head high and don't do the comparisons. We broke free of the slavery thousands of years ago. There is no need to willingly put yourself back there.
Family Pack
With a child or without a child. With a small family or a large family. With a partner or without a partner. You are enough. ❤️
Schlissel Challah
But what if you want to do something to get try to get a message to G-d? What if you’re searching for some kind of meaningful connection?
Ways To Say No
For when the last thing you want to do is get out of your pjs, you need to find ways of saying NO in a clear, direct and concise way.
Trauma
Because trauma is not something that you can will away. It takes time, effort, sometimes therapy and a lot of TLC. So please be kind to yourself for feeling all of these feelings.
Know Your People
Some get the fact that it’s a struggle and can relate on a basic level because they too, have been through struggle. And others just don’t. They have led a charmed life. Everything has gone right.
Suppressing Emotions
A gentle reminder that pretending not to have emotions or feelings comes at a high price that will eventually come at a cost to your mental or physical health.
First Day of School Photos
I wished, every single day, that I would just be able to hold a healthy baby in my arms. So to all of you out there who are avoiding those photos, we see you.
Guilt Versus Shame
When we feel bad about something we did (or didn’t do, we tend to experience guilt. When we feel that *we are bad* for something we did (or didn’t do). We tend to experience shame.
Pressure Categories
Pressure/Expectations that people feel usually feels like this big weight that people carry with them on a daily basis. But we think that it can be broken down into 3 main categories.
Don’t Gaslight Yourself
Quick reminder that this stuff is hard. Adding outside expectations onto the pressure you already put on yourself to have a certain number of kids, at certain intervals, is EXHAUSTING.
Questions You Ask Yourself
Have you found yourself asking any of these questions? As we gear up for our Fertility Support Summit, these are some things we’re thinking about.
Mental Health Care
When it comes to taking care of our mental health, self care, setting boundaries, and advocating for ourselves are just as important as speaking with a therapist.