Hurtful Comments
But when those comments come from someone you love, you trust, you deem as “safe,” it’s much harder to do the reframing. These are the people who know the depths of your pain.
My Secret Menorah Poem
“I am a single woman with a very close friend that has gone through and is currently going through infertility and loss. I am with her on this journey and she sent me the poem.”
To My Dearest Embabies
“Lastly, dear embabies of mine, I want you to know that mommy loves you more than anything in the world! I am so proud of all of my brave, strong and beautiful babies.”
I’m Tired
“I’m tired of being poked and prodded. I’m tired of sharing my medical history yet again. I’m tired of throwing money down the drain. I’m tired of not being able to breathe. I’m so tired.”
Primary Ovarian Insufficiency While Single
“I've learned so much about myself through this journey. I wish it never happened, but at the same time I have grown more than I could have imagined.”
We All Care
“We care so much," - almost slips out, before it is harshly shushed by the silencing, accusing voices of "Don't say that. How can you ever care enough?”
Finding Me
“I struggled to be in met o feel all of me to hold me i forgot me i couldn’t be me i lost me i lost me in the dark night silencedby him i lost me when my body was no longer mine”
To The Mom Today
“I would be grateful to have a screaming child. A child not wanting to leave the ice rink. But my shot for only one....I was only asking G-d for one...may be gone.”
“What Do I Want?”
“What do I want? I want to be free of pain. The pain of wanting to be pregnant but not knowing if it will ever happen.”
Feelings Post-Miscarriage
“I am faking it pretty well, but honestly- I am completely overwhelmed and devastated. I have a child who I love, but my heart has a hole for another.”
The Pain of Miscarriage
“I’m terrified if I get pregnant again and have another miscarriage I will add ‘recurrent miscarriage’ to the already long list of my infertility diagnosis”
No Right Way to Do This
Some people grieve for months or years over their 10 week miscarriage and find the whole process so traumatic that they will never try again. And some don’t.
Body Shaming & Loss
It’s hard enough to deal with fertility issues, but when that loss is coupled with body shaming, it makes the loss feel a million times worse.
Cabbage Leaves
“I don’t think I can ever look at a cabbage again without thinking about the milk that came in after my second trimester miscarriages.”
My Marriage Fell Apart
So many of you have written about your relationships and marriages being strained through the journey of infertility or after a loss, that it’s worth mentioning here.
IVF & Marriage
“I’ve never told a single soul this, but the biggest reason I don’t want to do IVF is because I don’t think my marriage is strong enough to endure it.”
Purim Letter
I was sent this message on Purim, from Miriam Levin. Here is a heartbreaking letter to her stillborn daughter. “I wonder what costume you would choose...maybe a princess or a flower girl?”
Letter To My Daughter
“An open letter to my daughter: I see you. Or at least the pieces you want me to see. I have come to your house early in the morning for weeks and weeks, and I don’t ask questions.”
Holocaust Remembrance Day
Throughout history, we have been the target of discrimination, resettlements and massacres. Age gaps. Family size. The Holocaust. It all intertwines.”
Goodbye My Little Star
“Goodbye my little star Oh how I loved you I miss you Its time to say goodbyeI step into the dark night Looking up at the velvet sky Tiny spots of light twinkling above Goodbye my little star”