Cabbage Leaves

I don’t think I can ever look at a cabbage again without thinking about the milk that came in after my second trimester miscarriages.

I remember that feeling of despair so well. It was three days after the D&E (procedure to take out the baby), and I woke up feeling like my breasts were going to explode.

I thought, “Huh. This feels like just like the engorgement I had after I gave birth to one of my *live* kids. I can’t be making milk now. I have a *dead* baby. WHY DOESN’T MY BODY KNOW THAT MY BABY IS NOT ALIVE????”

And after I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, I walked into the kitchen, grabbed some Advil and cabbage leaves, and cried again.

It was just sooooooooooo unfair.

My milk coming in was one of the worst things that happened after my losses.