How To Respond When Someone Asks “Are You Pregnant?”
However you choose to respond when someone asks if you are pregnant is perfectly okay.
Say This Instead
Don’t Say This, Say This Instead
Not Everything Happens For A Reason
Not everything happens for a reason. Some things happen, and they are horrible and awful. You could spend your life searching for a reason — you’ll never find it.
Stop Commenting on People’s Body
Bodies change during pregnancy, thats’s normal! But it’s not normal to ask someone if they are pregnant because their body has changed. Please, let’s just stop.
Stop Looking at People’s Stomachs
Stop looking at people’s stomach when you are speaking to them. You aren’t being subtle. They know exactly why are you looking there and what you are thinking.
What To Say on People On Fertility Journey
What not to say and what to say to people on fertility journey. Examples of statements that do more harm than good, and alternatives to support those on ferility journeys.
How to Talk to People Who Are Struggling with Infertility and Pregnancy Loss
How to Talk to People Who Are Struggling with Infertility and Pregnancy Loss- the guide, with “dos” and “donts” and downloadable pdf version
Nobody Has A Perfect Life
Everyone is going through something. Not the same as you, but something. No one is living a perfect life. So let’s be kind to one another, okay?
Stop Saying Never Give Up
Sometimes you need to step back and take a break. A long break. Or change course. Or try something new. Or stop trying altogether. So I beg you, fertility community- let’s stop saying, “Never give up.”
Don’t Ask. Ever
I’ve been talking a lot about the expectations vs reality of what your life looks like. But what about families in your community? Why do we speak in hushed tones about those couples who have small families?
We All Care
“We care so much," - almost slips out, before it is harshly shushed by the silencing, accusing voices of "Don't say that. How can you ever care enough?”
Letter To My Daughter
“An open letter to my daughter: I see you. Or at least the pieces you want me to see. I have come to your house early in the morning for weeks and weeks, and I don’t ask questions.”
Sensitivity Guide
We can’t give you the answers on how to be sensitive to the people in your life who are struggling. Because people are complicated and their stories are even more complicated.
Instead of “I Know How You Feel”
Look, there always such a black and white distinction between what is appropriate and not appropriate to say to someone who is going through infertility or loss.
Really…. How Are You?
When was the last time you actually took the time and asked people how they were…really. Have you ever stopped to actually listen to the answer?
The Impact
Because we need the fuzzy blankets, the homemade cookies, the hugs, the friends and the kindness. Those are the things that we carry with us, in our hearts, long beyond our losses.
Supporting Someone Pregnant After Loss
Watching someone go through pregnancy after loss is really hard, in a way that’s both similar and different to the experience of losing a baby.
Look In My Eyes
Yes - we know repeated ourselves... because ANYTHING stressful can make you gain or lose weight. Losing 20 pounds = you don't know the reasons behind it.
We See You
We see you. You are not a monster. You are a person just trying to get through another day in pain. You are a human being. Be kind to your aching heart.
Toxic Positivity
No matter how many times you tell someone this, it’s just not the way to happiness. It’s the same as forcing the “good vibes only” or “just keep going” shtick. It doesn’t work.