Don’t Ask. Ever

I’ve been talking a lot about the expectations vs reality of what your life looks like. Much of the conversation has centered on those who don’t have a partner, and feel the need to wait until they do before *trying* to start a family. Or those with medical or mental illnesses, geography or financial considerations, etc.

But what about families in your community? Why do we speak in hushed tones about those couples who have small families?

One follower writes- “Even stopping with ‘only’ two kids is scary.

My husband is pretty set that we are done, [and] I'm not totally disagreeing with him. But what scares me most is that no one will think this is normal.
[They] will ask, ‘Don’t you want more?’

But they don’t realize all the pain, exhaustion, and money involved in even just trying one more time. It's so draining that at a certain point you just have to take a step back and reassess if you can really do it again.

(...We’ve been talking about this a lot because my baby is almost one, and so I know the questions will start up soon.)”

If there is one thing that you take away from this week, it’s this.

Don’t ask. Ever.

It’s none of your business. People are dealing with things you (Gd willing) have no idea about, and by asking you are making them re-open that wound and deal with their sadness/trauma in a public way. And that’s just not nice.

So don’t ask.