Self-Care Tip #8
Choose the things, people and content that bring you joy, and stay away from the things that make you feel yucky. There is enough in your life that is not going according to plan.
Presence of Absence
Choose the things, people and content that bring you joy, and stay away from the things that make you feel yucky. There is enough in your life that is not going according to plan.
I Can’t Even Imagine
We know that you mean no harm when you say this kind of thing, but it can feel really invalidating and lonely when you do. Would the world be a safer place if no one could imagine these things? No.
The Three Weeks
While there are those who don't like to think about unpleasant things, or block them our of their minds, most of us can't help ourselves. We ponder, ruminate, belabor and worry about what the future holds.
Fasting Emotions
For many in the fertility community, fast days bring up all kinds of feelings. They wish they wouldn't have to tell people if they are fasting. If they were still pregnant, they would be able to eat.
SIDS Complexity
Just like any new information that hits the airwaves, please be cautious when talking about it with people who are struggling. Your comments might cause more harm than good.
Suppressing Emotions
A gentle reminder that pretending not to have emotions or feelings comes at a high price that will eventually come at a cost to your mental or physical health.
Dear Society
So here's a formal shoutout to all of society - PLEASE DON'T ASK. You don't really want to know the answers. You're just making small talk. And the small talk hurts.
Talking About My Baby
Because we know that talking about our babies will heal us on some level, but it won't bring them back. "I can wipe away the tears from my eyes, but I cannot wipe the grief from my heart."
It is Normal To…
Everyone reacts to grief in their own way, and so many of you question whether "you're doing it right." The answer is that only you know what you need.
Open Letter to Friends & Family
"Things have been pretty rough around here lately. We have been going through (insert your own narrative here or keep this section vague) a lot, and I need to take a step back.”
Dearest Little Embryo
“How does one describe the grief and pain of a failed embryo transfer?It’s hard to put pen to paper, but the pain and grief is so very tangible. It’s an unexpected pain and yearning.”
Letter to My Embryo
We have been flooded with messages about your embryo failures. "I thought I was crazy to feel this way.” "I didn't know anyone else I could talk to about my feelings of deep, intense loss."
On Tisha B’av
For all of you who are crying - we see you. For all of you who are not crying - we see you. For all of you who want to cry, but feel like you're all cried out - we see you.
Grief Awareness is Every Day
But here at IWSTHAB, we talk about infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, grief and loss every single day of the year. Those of you living this world don’t need a day on the calendar to commemorate your pain.
First Day of School Photos
I wished, every single day, that I would just be able to hold a healthy baby in my arms. So to all of you out there who are avoiding those photos, we see you.
Holiday Angst
Holiday tables filled with rude and insensitive family members you don't regularly see can feel like walking into a landmine. The memories can be impossible to forget.
Bad News After Bad News
“I really thought I was going to be pregnant by this year, and now I just don't know what to feel. I'm angry, sad, and numb most of the time. I hardly go out. And I don't even know if I can go to shul on RH.”
Circumstantial Infertility and Being Single
We share these heartbreaking words with you so that you can understand a little bit more about how hard it is for them to be carrying the weight of not being married AND not having children.
Hopeful During Holidays
Someone in one of our support groups recently asked, “A part of me is just hopeless when I think about the holidays. How do I stay hopeful during this time?”