Supporting Someone Pregnant After Loss
Watching someone go through pregnancy after loss is really hard, in a way that’s both similar and different to the experience of losing a baby.
Toxic Positivity
No matter how many times you tell someone this, it’s just not the way to happiness. It’s the same as forcing the “good vibes only” or “just keep going” shtick. It doesn’t work.
Giving Space
Our suggestion👉🏻 Let him tell you to bleep off and leave him alone. A good friend means never being upset when they tell you that they need space.
Mother’s Day
10 things your friend with infertility and/or pregnancy loss never tells you about mother’s day. I want to celebrate for you but also grieve for me.
Acknowledge Always
When people are struggling, whether it is something personal or very public, part of being a kind human, of being a mensch (a person on integrity and honor), is caring about your fellow man.
9 Support Suggestions
You all know the basics by now, so here's an updated list to get you thinking a little bit more about how to support the people you love. 9 more suggestions.
Dear Society
So here's a formal shoutout to all of society - PLEASE DON'T ASK. You don't really want to know the answers. You're just making small talk. And the small talk hurts.
Open Letter to Friends & Family
"Things have been pretty rough around here lately. We have been going through (insert your own narrative here or keep this section vague) a lot, and I need to take a step back.”
Support Not Suggestions
It's important to share this message any time of year, but especially now when so many of you are seeing friends and family who may not know the intricacies of your situation.
“Everyone Has Kids Here”
Don't ask people how many kids they have. Why? Because of statistics. 1 out of 6 couples are dealing with some kind of infertility and 1 out of 4 pregnancies end in a loss.
Gossip
When you're struggling to have a child, gossip can be even more upsetting. Because if they're talking about everyone else's uterus, they're talking about yours too.
Don’t Say This!
Think before you speak. We could write a book about all the comments people have shared with us in the last week. And maybe one day, we will.
All They Want Is You
The item you send is just a manifestation of your love, so it actually doesn’t matter what it is. What matters more is the person behind the chocolate.
Continue To Reach Out
We know that people tend to forget about those who are in it for the long haul. It’s much “easier” to show up for someone in a crisis. So please, don't forget about them.
Please Keep Showing Up
“Some people said the worst, but also got it right. So don’t worry about offending. Just take the leap, the jump. And please keep showing up.”
I’ve Been Thinking of You
Having a stillborn is one of the most unimaginable things someone can go through. But when you ignore their pain or don’t mention their baby, you make them feel like you don't care.
They Are Struggling Even If...
Just because someone appears to have it all together on the outside, doesn't mean they're not struggling on the inside. This goes for mental health and infertility.
“Just do IVF!”
Today is World IVF Day so here is your reminder that IVF, while miraculous, is not for everyone. It is physically, mentally, and financially taxing and doesn't always work.
Share Light on Chanukah
We know that this time of year, and Chanukah, is especially hard for the infertility and loss community. We strive to spread sensitivity, inclusivity, and kindness in this community and in the world.
Fixing is Not Healing
Healing is not fixing. These are not necessarily clear problems to be solved. Healing takes time and space and isn’t really defined by any rules. And we don’t choose trauma, [so] it’s not our weakness.