All Grief is Valid
Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re grieving the loss of a your baby - one that you desperately wanted and were praying for.
Grief With a Partner
Just because there are two people in a relationship and they go through exactly the same thing, it doesn’t mean that they will feel the same way about it, or grieve as long.
This is Grief
Grief is so many things. But it is not linear. It will not obey your internal timeline. It will not end because society says that it should. Grief has a mind of its own because grief is love.
Working on Grief
First you need to manage the pain, then you have to learn with crutches, eventually you may need a little physical therapy after the cast comes off and finally you start walking again.
The Void
One of our followers sent this in, and we’re feeling this hard today. Sigh. The void. It’s inescapable, but all you want to do is crawl your way out.
Permission to Grieve
And what I realized this week, is: It is my right to grieve this. I don’t have to learn to be okay with this. I can grieve the loss, not just of my pregnancies, but the loss of what I dreamt my family to be.
Just One Word: Sad
What happens when you’re longing and longing, and the rainbow still isn’t here? And each day feels like the very possibility is slipping through your fingers?
Grief and the Unknown
Grief and the unknown: Two words that accurately describe my feelings as i stand in the midst of my journey at a standstill. Waiting for THE PHONE CALL.”
Presence of Absence
Choose the things, people and content that bring you joy, and stay away from the things that make you feel yucky. There is enough in your life that is not going according to plan.
I Can’t Even Imagine
We know that you mean no harm when you say this kind of thing, but it can feel really invalidating and lonely when you do. Would the world be a safer place if no one could imagine these things? No.
SIDS Complexity
Just like any new information that hits the airwaves, please be cautious when talking about it with people who are struggling. Your comments might cause more harm than good.
Talking About My Baby
Because we know that talking about our babies will heal us on some level, but it won't bring them back. "I can wipe away the tears from my eyes, but I cannot wipe the grief from my heart."
It is Normal To…
Everyone reacts to grief in their own way, and so many of you question whether "you're doing it right." The answer is that only you know what you need.
Grief Awareness is Every Day
But here at IWSTHAB, we talk about infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, grief and loss every single day of the year. Those of you living this world don’t need a day on the calendar to commemorate your pain.
The Problem Isn't Us
We, in the fertility community, are not the problem. We talk about our pain. We talk about our struggles. We educate and sensitize people to what we are going through.
Life With Grief
Huge thanks to this anonymous follower for giving us a glimpse into her world over the last few weeks. 💔 (some details have been changed to protect her anonymity)
Functioning at 30%
To those of you who are functioning at 30% right now, we see you. We know how hard it is to get through another day. But know this - You are seen. You are loved. And you are safe here.
How Do I Know When I’m Healed?
“We just learn to carry it better. There isn't a ‘remission’ for us per se or one specific day where I suddenly get to say I'm over it because I'll never be ‘over it.’”
At Some Point
Grief is the thing that underlies all of the work that we do. Grief about the lost expectations of what your life was "supposed to" look like. We are here for all of it.
Growing From The Pain
Loss doesn’t have to “make you stronger.” You don’t have to “grow” from the pain. With loss, all there is to do is survive and make it through each day.