All Grief is Valid
“I just don’t feel like I have the right to be in so much pain. My baby died at 11 weeks and it’s been 6 months already and I still don’t feel like myself. We were trying for 2 years to get pregnancy and BH (thank Gd) after lots of tests for both of us, we finally were able to try. I got pregnant a few months later and we were so happy! Like finally something was working. And then I started bleeding after seeing the heartbeat, and it all came out the day later. My baby was gone. 😭 My baby was only 10 weeks. I shouldn’t been crying so much. Some people have it so much worse. Someone I know just had a stillbirth, another friend is getting divorced and my cousin has cancer. I feel like I have no right to be upset and yet I am. What’s wrong with me?”
Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you.
You’re grieving the loss of a your baby - one that you desperately wanted and were praying for.
From the moment someone gets pregnant, they start planning, hoping, dreaming. They start thinking about the due date (will it be a summer or winter baby?), discussing whether is makes sense to get a new car or bigger house, how to manage telling the in-laws and the rest of the family, and wishing for a boy who has his eyes or a girl with her curls. They may even start thinking about names because bubbie died recently and it would be so nice to be able to have a baby named after her. Maternity clothes websites suddenly start appearing when you do Google searches and you wonder whether your BFF actually likes her new stroller or not.
💔It’s not just two pink lines on a pregnancy test. It’s so much more.💔
Our advice to all of you dealing with any kind of loss?
👉🏻Your grief is valid. Pain is valid. All of it. You lost something you desperately wanted, so it makes perfect sense that you are sad.
We cannot make the grief go away quicker or give you a magic potion to make you feel like yourself again. But what we can do is remind you to be kind to yourself through this process.
Because they one thing that will make it worse is if you are hard on yourself for feeling all the feelings.
So please be gentle with yourself. 🤗