Mikvah Mantras
Before you step into the mikvah, take a deep breath and try to hold one of these truths close
Your body is more than its outcomes
Mikvah | Mantras | Self Care | Jewish Law
Reminder: Taharat HaMishpacha
When we talk about Taharat HaMishpacha (family purity laws), we often hear about the "spark" it adds to a marriage.
But for those struggling with infertility or loss, the reality is often much heavier.
The transition between states can feel like a physical reminder of a body that isn't doing what you hoped it would.
If this ritual feels more like a burden than a blessing this month, you aren't "doing it wrong." Your feelings are valid.
Taharat HaMishpacha | Halacha | Mikvah
Mikvah Feelings
To those of you who feel like you have zero energy for this mitzvah:
We see you.
Mikvah | Jewish Community | Infertility | Fertility Treatment | Pregnancy Loss | Miscarriage
Going to Mikvah this month
he mikvah is meant to be a space of transition, but when you’re waiting, it can feel like a painful monthly marker of what hasn't happened yet.
It is okay if it feels more like a chore than a spiritual moment right now.
It is okay if you feel a sense of failure, or like your body is broken.
When the world feels infuriatingly unfair, please know your feelings are valid.
Mikvah | Ritual Bath | Taharat HaMishpacha | Validation | Jewish Community
Dear Mikvah
Dear Mikvah—
Thank you @shoshanastavsky for your words. You are not alone 🫂
Mikvah | Waiting | Validation | Loss | Ritual | Community | Support
Mikvah
Standing at the door of the mikvah can feel like standing at the edge of a vast, painful silence.
It is incredibly heavy to bring a heart full of disappointment to a space that is often associated with new beginnings and hope.
When your body feels like it has let you down, stepping into those waters can feel less like a spiritual reset and more like a confrontation with what is missing.
If you are struggling to find your way back to that space tonight, or any night, please know:
• Your anger and your hurt are allowed to exist, even in holy spaces.
• You do not have to "fix" your feelings before you immerse.
• It is okay if the only prayer you have right now is a question.
Mikvah | Ritual Bath | Taharat HaMishpacha | Faith | Body Grief | Struggles | Community | Jewish Life | Support
Don’t comment on people’s bodies
Don't comment on people's bodies.
Don't comment on people's bodies.
Don't comment on people's bodies.
Mikvah | Ritual Bath | Taharat HaMishpacha | Jewish Community | Infertility
Months Together: Mikvah Edition
The relationship with the mikvah (ritual bath) changes so much when month one turns into month twelve.
What starts as a new ritual can quickly become a monthly reminder of what hasn't happened yet. It is a lot to ask of a person—to show up, to prepare, and to find meaning in a cycle that feels like it’s breaking your heart.
It is possible for this mitzvah to feel both holy and heavy at the same time.
Mikvah | Infertility | Jewish Life | Waiting | Monthly Cycles | Support | Community
Trip to the Mikvah
A heartbreaking anonymous story gives an insight into one woman’s feelings as she prepares for her visit to the mikvah (ritual bath), a necessity in orthodox communities before husband and wife reunite. This immersion happens after a woman finishes menstruating, and it renders her ritually clean to have sex again.
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This process is deeply painful for those who are not able to get pregnant or for those who have lost a pregnancy, as it is a monthly reminder that their bodies are not carrying a child. (When someone is pregnant, she usually does not menstruate, therefore she does not have to go to the mikvah).
This writer shares all of her emotions, as she dips in the water.
Halachic infertility
PSA: This next story about Halachic infertility is hard to read.
For those of you who spend every waking moment steeped in Jewish law, following its every edit with all of its nuances, it’s difficult to contemplate someone who doesn’t take it as seriously as you.
And we know that it’s probably going to be even more difficult hearing from some one who chose to turn away from Halacha (jewish law). This someone tried every possible way to stay within the confines of what the law was saying, but instead felt isolated, angered, depressed and shut down. She chose to do what she needed to do for her mental health.
And why are we sharing her story? Because IWSTHAB’s mission is to hold space, comfort and validate anyone who is struggling to have a child. And in this case, the anger and disillusionment are the emotions that need to be supported.
Also, we want to remind all of you that when you ask “How many children do you have?” you really have NO IDEA what people are going through, and how hard it is for them to get through one single day. Because if you had a window into our DM’s, you would see that this woman is not the only one who is trying her best to straddle her desire to have a family with the confines of jewish law.
Mikvah Attendent
The mikvah can be a deeply emotional experience—especially for those navigating infertility, loss, or pain. Even well-meaning comments can unintentionally cause hurt.
This post is a gentle reminder: when in doubt, keep it simple.
Be supportive. Be respectful. Most importantly, be quiet when silence is more healing than words.
Dear Mikvah
Dear Mikvah—
Thank you @shoshanastavsky for your words. You are not alone 🫂
Mikvah Voices From The Community
For anyone who has ever dreaded the water, feared the touch, or cried alone in their car after doing “what you’re supposed to do”... You are not alone. You never were.
We’re sharing this with permission, so others might feel less invisible.
Mikvah Confessions
Mikvah Night isn’t always joyful…
“The world tells us mikvah night is magical. The night of possibility, of connection. But what if it’s also the night of pressure? Of dread? Of crying in the car on the way there because you’re scared of more disappointment? You’re not broken if it feels this way. You’re human.”
If mikvah night feels hard — what do you wish people understood?
Mikvah
Mikvah - it’s beautiful, it’s magical, it’s triggering, it’s complicated, it’s painful. It can be all of these things when you’re trying to have a baby.
Rituals
There can be comfort in the consistency of ritual.
There’s comfort in the rhythm, in the embrace of the water.
Nothing is happening at the pace I would choose, but there is an opportunity for a resurgence of hope and the possibility of new beginnings.
But there’s also pain—
the grief of dipping again when you wished this month would be different. Mikvah and taharat hamishpacha aren’t simple.
They carry both hope and heartache.
My Final Mikvah
This story gives an insight into one woman’s feelings as she prepares for her last visit to the mikvah (ritual bath), a necessity in orthodox communities before husband and wife reunite.
Niddah & Separation Anxiety
“Let me start here. Niddah makes me want to die. I have separation anxiety. Something I’ve had all my life. I was treated for it once, but I hated the meds. They had horrible side effects.”
Mikvah Feelings
It’s been a long time since I was in that stage of my life, the emotions and stress of mikvah night during the years when we kept losing babies come rushing back.
The Final Immersion
It’s not quite six weeks after my complete hysterectomy and I am still somewhat sore. Tonight is the last night that I will ever immerse in the mikveh for the mitzvah of taharat hamishpacha.