Light and Darkness can Coexist
“Gosh it’s so eerie to find comfort from my own words from the past. Please do share ❤️”
This piece was written by Malki Rodal @theoutbackmama in 2023 - swipe to read the beautiful and touching words to her son.
Chanukah | happy Hanukkah | 8 days of light | spread the light | Jewish joy | fertility support | infertility community | Jewish community
Hanukkah, happy, Hanukkah, pregnancy loss, infant loss, grief, Grief during holidays, holidays are hard, fertility journey
You’re going to get through this!
The miracle of Chanukah wasn’t only that the oil lasted.
It was that the light reached farther than anyone thought possible.
This year, we’re aiming for the same.
More families. More resources. More support groups. More guidance for those walking through infertility and pregnancy loss in our community.
Chanukah | happy Hanukkah | 8 days of light | spread the light | Jewish joy | fertility support | infertility community | Jewish community
How to open your arms to others
Here are just a few simple ways to make people feel more included during Chanukah (or any time) 🫂
If our work has moved you, inspired you, or reminded you that no one should face this pain alone, please make a gift today.
Your support literally determines how far our light can go.
Help us reach farther this year.
Support people | Chanukah | lonely | Jewish community | Jewish joy |fertility journey | infertility | pregnancy loss
10 ways to offer support (that aren’t advice)
Say it with me:
“They don’t need advice, they need support.”
Here are 10 ways to support ❤️
Support person | infertility |pregnancy after loss | pregnancy anxiety | pregnancy loss | infant loss | surrogacy | adoption | secondary infertility
Do not comment on peoples bodies
PSA: Don’t comment on people’s bodies. Ever.
Maybe their fertility medications (or other meds) are causing them to gain weight.
Maybe they just had a loss and haven’t lost the weight.
Maybe they are pregnant but they aren’t ready to talk about it yet.
Maybe they have a medical condition that is causing their body to gain weight.
You never know what someone is going through, but you can be certain that commenting on their body is never the thing you want to be doing. Imagine not seeing someone since last Thanksgiving and the first thing they say to you is “Oh, you got heavy!” 😡
Please. Please. Please. Stop talking about body shape, type, diets, food restrictions, Glp-1s, etc. It’s never a conversation that is going to end well.
Thanksgiving | turkey | body image| don’t talk about people’s bodies| health at every size | diet culture | fertility | infertility | Jewish
Questions to ask on Thankgiving
Okay, you agreed to go. But you’re worried that people are going to be up inappropriate topics.
Or you agreed to host, and you need to make sure that your childless sister feels comfortable.
This is one of our most popular pieces of content for good reason- because people get into a rut with conversations, and forget that there are so many other things to talk about that have nothing to do with babies, pregnancy or children.
So here’s your cheat sheet, again. ❤️
Singles | childless | childless not by choice | infertility | miscarriage | ice breakers for fertility struggles | infertile | thanksgiving | shabbos | hosting a meal | being a good host | sensitive things to say
How to avoid invasive questions
Spending time with family over the holidays means you might be getting asked some insensitive and personal questions about when you are going to have a baby….
Swipe to read some ways you can respond when Bubby asks you “Nu… when are you going to give me a great-grandchild? You aren’t getting any younger!”
Thanksgiving | holidays | Jewish holidays | Jewish | Jewish family | Jew | infertility | IVF | iui | miscarriage | pregnancy loss | not pregnant
Holiday Reminder part 2
It’s perfectly okay if this year Thanksgiving is just another Thursday
Okay?
Okay ❤️🫂🤗
Grateful | not grateful | holiday | Jewish holiday | Jewish family | miscarriage | stillborn | infertility
Holiday Reminder
Holidays are hard. Full stop.
And they get a whole lot harder when the world around you is wrapped in gratitude and smiling family photos.
The reality is that most people are just trying to make it through the day without falling apart. We rarely know what someone else is carrying. Someone might look calm, cheerful, or “fine,” while inside they’re holding grief, fear, disappointment, or memories they never asked for.
So this holiday season, go gently. With yourself, and with everyone you meet. A little kindness goes a long way, especially when so much is happening beneath the surface that no one can see.
thanksgiving | holidays | jewishholiday | jewishfamily |infertility | pregnancyloss | miscarriage
Feel it, Honor it, and Seek support
Sending all of you love-
Good shabbos ❤️
Xoxo,
Aimee
Feeling exhausterwhelmulated
Anyone else?
🫠🫠🫠🥱🥱🥱🧑🍳🧑🍳🧑🍳🛒🛒🛒🧹🧹🧹💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
Jewish holidays | infertility | fertility journey | shabbos | overwhelmed
One small idea to take with you.
Thinking of you ❤️
Praying for you ❤️
Game Chasima Tova ❤️
Yom Kippur | high holidays | infertility | fertility treatment | ivf | surrogacy | ectopic pregnancy | infertility community | Jewish women
Do not ask if anyone is fasting.
Tonight begins Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year.
And sometimes more than the themes of atonement and forgiveness, people tend to focus on the food...or lack thereof.
What are you eating pre-fast?
You’re not having bagels and lox after?
How about grapes or melon?
You like gatorade before?
I can’t even eat something heavy when it’s done...I only have soup.
It’s so hard. How much more time?
And on and on and on and on.
But more than that, all these questions assume that everyone fasts. Which is absolutely not the case.
So here’s a quick reminder that it’s none of your business if someone is or is not fasting.
So on behalf of everyone who doesn’t want to talk about it (in the fertility community and beyond - those with eating disorders or other mental/physical health challenges), please don’t ask.
Ever.
Yom Kippur | Jewish fast | infertility treatment | ttc | ivf | pregnancy announcement | fertility clinic | infertility journey
We are here for you
It’s that time again, and we know so many of you can’t help but take stock of where you are compared to where you hoped you would be.
Wherever you find yourself this yom tov (holiday) season, know we’re right here with you.
Bring the anger, bring the tears, bring the silence - because that counts as prayer too. And please be gentle with the part of you that’s hurting.
Yom Kippur | high holidays | forgiveness | ttc | miscarriage | primary infertility | Jewish women | Orthodox Jews
There is only your way
Sending my love to all of you for a peaceful, restful, shabbos.
And please be gentle with yourself xoxo
❤️ Aimee
63 questions to ask on Rosh Hashanah
Here are 613 things to talk about at your Rosh Hashanah tables that have nothing to do with pregnancy or babies…
Ok fine, maybe just 63 topics🍎
Jewish family | Rosh Hashanah | table talk | infertility journey | ivf support
Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur
This is your reminder: G-d meets you wherever you are - in the pew, in the hallway, or at home with honey cake.
However you show up this year, you are enough.
Rosh Hashanah | fertility journey | Jewish women | ivf | pregnancy after loss | jewish community | infertility support
High Holiday Podcast Episodes
As we mentally and physically prepare for the holidays ahead, I’m taking a moment to share some Talking Away The Taboo podcast episodes relevant for this time of year.
From navigating the holidays through infertility and grief, to our relationship with G-d, listen to these podcasts and more through the 🔗 in bio or stories.
High Holidays | Rosh Hashana | Gd | Emuna | Bitachon | Shofar | Fertility journey
High Holiday Struggles
It’s okay if you don’t feel connected this time of year.
The point is to be in a relationship. If your full prayer experience this high holiday season is one painful sigh and the thought ‘G-d, I wish I could connect more,’ that counts as being in relationship, too.
#roshhashanah #jewishnewyear #jewishlife #jewishwomen #infertility #fertilityjourney #pregnancyafterloss #miscarriage
Tefillah from the sofa
Skipping synagogue but still talking to G-d from your couch? Yeah, us too. We’re gathering those prayers into something beautiful: Tefillah from the Sofa. Send yours by Sept 17.
Link in stories or in our bio to submit
Rosh Hashana | prayer | davening | fertility struggles | high holidays