Surrogacy After Loss
I always knew surrogacy would be my path to having a child of my own. When I was 16 years old, I was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma, a form of cervical cancer.
“My Pregnancy After Loss Story Is A Worse Case Scenario”
This next voice from the community is raw look into pregnancy after loss the heartbreak that comes with it. Swipe to read 💔
Grief With Surrogacy
Surrogacy gives many people the opportunity to grow their family when they otherwise couldn’t have and bring them the greatest joy. However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t grief and loss throughout the process.
Thoughts When You Consider Surrogacy
Let’s take a look into all the complex thoughts one has while they are considering moving forward with surrogacy.
Unsolicited Advice
We hope this doesn't need to be said about a surrogacy journey or *any* other kind of fertility challenge...
Less advice and more support, k?
Trust Issues When Navigating a Surrogacy Journey
And what is surrogacy? The very definition of lack of control. You are literally handing your embryo to another person to carry. And while you can stipulate all kinds of things in the contract, the reality is that this is the essence of lack of control.
Instead of Saying: “Why Didn’t You Just Adopt?”
Reason number 19,473,682 why saying “Why didn’t you just adopt?” or questioning anyone’s choices along their fertility journey is not okay: as a support person to your loved one, your job is to unconditionally love and support them through both their darkest and brightest times.
Privacy in Surrogacy
Surrogacy can be kept a secret.
It’s nobody’s business.
It’s up to the family (the parents) to decide how they want to choose to share this information… if they even want to share it. Yes, people are going to realize that someone was not pregnant, and suddenly they have a baby.
Jealousy in Surrogacy
It’s normal to feel jealous of your surrogate. She is living your dream.
She is the one that gets to feel the kicks, watch her belly grow, feel the cravings, and get all the attention.
If you feel jealousy, it’s okay.
Acknowledge the feeling and hold space for it.
You Can’t Keep Surrogacy a Secret
It’s impossible to be completely private about a surrogacy journey, one day you don’t have a baby and the next you do.
Conversations need to happen after the baby arrives.
Conflicting Emotions in Surrogacy
As with anything we talk about at IWSTHAB, there are multiple sides to every experience. This post highlights the many sides of the emotions one may experience throughout a surrogacy journey.