Surrogacy After Loss
I always knew surrogacy would be my path to having a child of my own. When I was 16 years old, I was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma, a form of cervical cancer.
Grief With Surrogacy
Surrogacy gives many people the opportunity to grow their family when they otherwise couldn’t have and bring them the greatest joy. However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t grief and loss throughout the process.
Thoughts When You Consider Surrogacy
Let’s take a look into all the complex thoughts one has while they are considering moving forward with surrogacy.
Unsolicited Advice
We hope this doesn't need to be said about a surrogacy journey or *any* other kind of fertility challenge...
Less advice and more support, k?
Trust Issues When Navigating a Surrogacy Journey
And what is surrogacy? The very definition of lack of control. You are literally handing your embryo to another person to carry. And while you can stipulate all kinds of things in the contract, the reality is that this is the essence of lack of control.
Instead of Saying: “Why Didn’t You Just Adopt?”
Reason number 19,473,682 why saying “Why didn’t you just adopt?” or questioning anyone’s choices along their fertility journey is not okay: as a support person to your loved one, your job is to unconditionally love and support them through both their darkest and brightest times.
Privacy in Surrogacy
Surrogacy can be kept a secret.
It’s nobody’s business.
It’s up to the family (the parents) to decide how they want to choose to share this information… if they even want to share it. Yes, people are going to realize that someone was not pregnant, and suddenly they have a baby.
Jealousy in Surrogacy
It’s normal to feel jealous of your surrogate. She is living your dream.
She is the one that gets to feel the kicks, watch her belly grow, feel the cravings, and get all the attention.
If you feel jealousy, it’s okay.
Acknowledge the feeling and hold space for it.
You Can’t Keep Surrogacy a Secret
It’s impossible to be completely private about a surrogacy journey, one day you don’t have a baby and the next you do.
Conversations need to happen after the baby arrives.
Conflicting Emotions in Surrogacy
As with anything we talk about at IWSTHAB, there are multiple sides to every experience. This post highlights the many sides of the emotions one may experience throughout a surrogacy journey.
115. My Journey as a Surrogate with Carrie Bornstein
Carrie Bornstein joins Aimee Baron, MD to talk about her experiences as a surrogate , the thoughts and feelings that led to her decision to become a surrogate, the agency she worked with, the legal process, and the matching that takes place.
118. Surrogacy Panel with Aliza Konig, Reena Bloom and Chana Shaffer
Aliza Konig, Reena Bloom and Chana Shaffer join Aimee Baron, MD to talk about what brought them to surrogacy, how they navigated that journey, how they managed their family and friends during the process and how Reena and Chana had previous pregnancies, and surrogacy was chosen as a miraculous way they could grow their families.
105. Surrogacy: From Empty Womb to Full Heart with Rabbi Dr. Erin Leib Smokler
Rabbi Dr. Erin Leib Smokler, joins Aimee Baron, MD to talk about her surrogacy story filled with laughs, pain, and everything in between and the guilt that came along with not being able to carry her own child.
119. My Surrogacy Story with Elisheva Levitt
Elisheva Levitt joins Aimee Baron, MD to talk about the surrogacy story of her twins, who were born after three heartbreaking pregnancy losses and years of searching for a surrogate and the pregnancy of her first child that left her with a blood incompatibility and her body attacked any subsequent attempts to try to bring another baby into this world.