![The Final Immersion](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719420505013-8BFOJFA46FG27OD7SGYP/267094608_455778046148036_2462024941023919608_n.jpg)
The Final Immersion
It’s not quite six weeks after my complete hysterectomy and I am still somewhat sore. Tonight is the last night that I will ever immerse in the mikveh for the mitzvah of taharat hamishpacha.
![Extra Stringencies with Niddah and Mikvah](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719420233905-T93CXT4YI71QCFVIEPCI/266268485_1081503512704223_2492031552406052229_n.jpg)
Extra Stringencies with Niddah and Mikvah
You don’t get extra points for keeping the laws of nidda/mikvah more stringently than necessary. A sensitive rabbi or yoetzet well versed in this area and attuned to mental health can help.
![Mikvah and Closure](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719419702118-A71MACIZZKN09F9DAIU0/260419008_592986995122502_6514041387754031081_n.jpg)
Mikvah and Closure
After my first miscarriage, I just waned to go to the mikvah to put closure to the pregnancy. With my second loss, I didn’t want to go to mikvah because I didn’t want the closure.
![Mikvah is Hard](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719419440700-IC0P8Y6KOEYRASZKCLE2/260515246_4848662858517580_8131168903858633324_n.jpg)
Mikvah is Hard
From the moment I stepped into a Mikvah for when I had to go before my wedding, it was the most hardest, uncomfortable, and just plain painful for me to ever do.
![Why I Hate the Mikvah](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719419173103-KB72AWPFX3PWVVHJ6OPH/259488546_225232443048493_7069768975493602410_n.jpg)
Why I Hate the Mikvah
I dread the mikvah. I rarely experience anxiety, but the mikvah gives me anxiety. I once took my birth control pill for eight months straight to avoid getting my period, which is not safe.
![Crying at the Mikvah](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719418785011-6Z51NLXOVMRPXJ6OV9J2/259391147_217567820514842_7567747112275734508_n.jpg)
Crying at the Mikvah
Last month I cried when I got out of the water. Couldn’t control it. I cried so hard like I had the day we got our results [when we were diagnosed with infertility]. I couldn’t stop.
![My Last Trip to the Mikvah](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719418526505-FJC74L7MOI5XQQ5YCFJO/258894758_1319357501842682_4084528244963552350_n.jpg)
My Last Trip to the Mikvah
“I just went to the mikvah for the last time. I am 28 years old. This time I walked into the mikvah knowing that there was a hundred percent, no miracle out there could ever help me carry another baby.”
![Mikvah Jealousy](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719417932804-DZTI6J7QKOTOAY1S65TM/425744382_18073652668457838_3121247742960508369_n+%281%29.jpg)
Mikvah Jealousy
Infertility Confession: I’m jealous of other women who can come home from the mikvah and have fun with their husbands withoutthe stress of infertility.
![My Period Feels Like a Slap in the Face](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719417671105-AT71QB8GB5BNU3DDIA0M/425985479_18073682317457838_1913206805852737539_n.jpg)
My Period Feels Like a Slap in the Face
As if infertility wasn’t hard enough, then niddah comes along and makes it 100 times harder 😩 When all you want is a hug… and you can’t have it. It just crushes you all over again.
![The Niddah Diaries](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719417436849-LNAZ5O5OHQBAJJGF0CWH/3297043768564090749.jpg)
The Niddah Diaries
We’ve compiled some of your thoughts and feelings around niddah and mikvah. Swipe to read through them and read entries about The Niddah Diaries.
![Mixed Emotions About Taharat HaMishpacha](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e55662d77e32846abc8b417/1719417007637-LIXUVG1XF5TEUHHKRBC4/426764646_18073854664457838_5704245716991798740_n.jpg)
Mixed Emotions About Taharat HaMishpacha
PSA: It’s normal if you dread niddah. It’s normal if niddah brings you some comfort. You are normal. Give yourself grace and let go of the guilt.