My Final Mikvah
This story gives an insight into one woman’s feelings as she prepares for her last visit to the mikvah (ritual bath), a necessity in orthodox communities before husband and wife reunite.
Niddah & Separation Anxiety
“Let me start here. Niddah makes me want to die. I have separation anxiety. Something I’ve had all my life. I was treated for it once, but I hated the meds. They had horrible side effects.”
Mikvah Feelings
It’s been a long time since I was in that stage of my life, the emotions and stress of mikvah night during the years when we kept losing babies come rushing back.
Not What You Think
“After denying that anything was wrong and then realizing that so much was wrong, I spent the next few months going to doctors and and getting tests.”
The Final Immersion
It’s not quite six weeks after my complete hysterectomy and I am still somewhat sore. Tonight is the last night that I will ever immerse in the mikveh for the mitzvah of taharat hamishpacha.
Extra Stringencies with Niddah and Mikvah
You don’t get extra points for keeping the laws of nidda/mikvah more stringently than necessary. A sensitive rabbi or yoetzet well versed in this area and attuned to mental health can help.
Mikvah and Closure
After my first miscarriage, I just waned to go to the mikvah to put closure to the pregnancy. With my second loss, I didn’t want to go to mikvah because I didn’t want the closure.
Mikvah is Hard
From the moment I stepped into a Mikvah for when I had to go before my wedding, it was the most hardest, uncomfortable, and just plain painful for me to ever do.
Why I Hate the Mikvah
I dread the mikvah. I rarely experience anxiety, but the mikvah gives me anxiety. I once took my birth control pill for eight months straight to avoid getting my period, which is not safe.
Crying at the Mikvah
Last month I cried when I got out of the water. Couldn’t control it. I cried so hard like I had the day we got our results [when we were diagnosed with infertility]. I couldn’t stop.
My Last Trip to the Mikvah
“I just went to the mikvah for the last time. I am 28 years old. This time I walked into the mikvah knowing that there was a hundred percent, no miracle out there could ever help me carry another baby.”
Mikvah Jealousy
Infertility Confession: I’m jealous of other women who can come home from the mikvah and have fun with their husbands withoutthe stress of infertility.
My Period Feels Like a Slap in the Face
As if infertility wasn’t hard enough, then niddah comes along and makes it 100 times harder 😩 When all you want is a hug… and you can’t have it. It just crushes you all over again.
The Niddah Diaries
We’ve compiled some of your thoughts and feelings around niddah and mikvah. Swipe to read through them and read entries about The Niddah Diaries.
Mixed Emotions About Taharat HaMishpacha
PSA: It’s normal if you dread niddah. It’s normal if niddah brings you some comfort. You are normal. Give yourself grace and let go of the guilt.