It’s Yom Kippur Again

“On Yom Kippur, we spend the day in shul (synagogue). We read for hours and hours about the work of the Kohen Gadol (high priest in the Temple) on this day. In the times of the Bais Hamikdash, the day was very busy for the Kohen. He brought different karbonos (sacrifices), and at the very end of the service, he would enter the Kodesh kadoshim (Holy of Holies), not knowing if he would live or die.

When the kohen did exit, the shofar was sounded, and he would bless the people [with many blessings], including parnassah (wealth), life- may no plague or pandemic come, and ‘May no woman miscarry the fruit of her womb.’

What an interesting set of blessings, but this is what we need - Health, wealth, and happiness.

A stillbirth is called a miscarriage as well.

Being just a week shy of my due date has me connecting to this prayer even more than ever before.

No one knew you, but I knew you.

I carried you inside me for 238 days, and I shared my space.
I know you hate coffee, and milk makes you nauseous.
You really liked a good sandwich.
When mommy fried up 3 hours of schnitzel, you rebel.
You were a night owl.
You were thirsty all the time.

You were tall - No shock there.
You had a cleft chin like me.
You played with my blood sugar levels.
You were due to arrive on your father's birthday and the happiest day of the year.
I knew you so well.

We didn’t sit shiva because you never came home.

Going into the month of ‘high’ holidays and not feeling too high about it.
We come to the day that we are signed and sealed, that everything is finalized.
Who will live?
Who will die?
Who will marry?
Who will be rich?

Last year, it was declared that we would know you. That Hashem (G-d) would partner with us to bring a neshama (soul) down here. It was signed and sealed that you would be of the special ones. We would love you and carry you, and we would protect you. You would then be born, but you would never come home with us to meet your brothers and your adoring family. On Yom Kippur, it was stamped that you would return back to the kiseh hakovod (the holy place where G-d sits).

Now, it’s Yom Kippur again.
We will again read all about the holy work of the Kohen.
We will then sound a shofar and declare may no woman miscarry.
May it be a fruitful year filled with births of crying babies.
A year of laughter and rejoicing.
A year of redemption and reunion.”