“I wanted to skip the Mikva this month because my usual Mikva is closed and all other mikvos are crazy strict and nasty. I’m in xxxxxxxx. My rav (rabbi) tried to do research to find a Mikva in xxxxxxxxx besides my usual one that would allow me the heter (leniency) that he gave me and all other mikvahs in my town refused. Even after he spoke to them. I’m so upset. They make it rly hard to do the mitzva (commandment). I told my rav I am skipping and literally begged me to go out of xxxxxxxxxx, so I hired someone to watch my son overnight, and I’m sleeping out of town and dipping somewhere. It’s just beyond crazy to me. And it makes me literally hate the Mikva. They are so rude and nasty in xxxxxxxxxx. Do they not understand ppl are struggling. This is such a sensitive thing for some people.”

-anonymous

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A few points that we want to emphasize:

👉🏻Just like the woman above, who knew that she was having a difficult time with mikvah, you too can (and should!) reach out to your clergy and talk to them about it. There is no reason to be miserable and cause yourself more pain and anguish. Infertility and pregnancy loss already puts you in that headspace. These laws are built with leniencies and someone kind, with emotional intelligence, will help find a way to make it more palatable for you. That’s what a good rabbi/clergy does. You won’t get a baby faster if you suffer more.

👉🏻You have to reach out for that support and advice. You have to advocate for yourself if you are struggling. Only *you* know how miserable you are and only you know when it’s time to talk to someone else about making it easier. But when you’re ready, ASK!

👉🏻Sometimes you have to do things for your mental health, even if the rest of the world thinks they’re not necessary or not appropriate. Only you know what you need. ♥️