Conversations Knowing You Are a Carrier For a Genetic Disorder

Knowing you are a carrier for a genetic disorder means many potentially uncomfortable conversations in your future.

If it’s you, when do you tell a potential partner? Before the first date? Date 3? After 4 months? Only if you’re thinking about getting engaged?

And then, there’s the fear. How will they take it? Will he/she still want to be with me long-term? Is this scary enough, because of all the unknowns, to walk away?

If you do decide to stay together, what do the different possibilities look like for your future?

How does each of you feel about working through this with your partner? Of knowing that you will *never* be able to “just get pregnant” like the rest of your friends.

And who do you tell?

Some people might tell you just to try naturally if you aren’t ready to start, can’t afford, are scared of, or struggle with (you name the reason) IVF.

Others might even say that you should break up and not get married. Why would you enter into a relationship knowing you were starting off your life together, knowing there would be a tremendous amount of stress to have a healthy child? Some might say you’re crazy to willingly take this kind of thing.

These are not easy questions to answer, and the answers will be different for every person and couple.

Be kind and sensitive if you hear someone is dealing with this issue. They are under tremendous stress and need your unconditional love and support - not your judgment.