You’re Allowed To Complain

A follower who has been suffering for years with infertility, and recently got pregnant wrote this to me, after reading how some people are triggered when hearing people complain.

“I think you’re allowed to simultaneously be grateful of the miracle in your body while feeling absolutely shi**y.

My doctor told me that. I had a VERY hard first trimester, and was very ill. Had an aversion to even water. It took me a couple of weeks to bring it up with him (came up naturally while I was vomiting uncontrollably in his office).

He asked me why I didn’t call or email that I was so sick. He could give me something. I said I didn’t because I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

That’s when he told me that seeking physical or emotional support while you’re going through something that is so physically taxing is not complaining, and you deserve all the help you can get.

Now that I have 6 weeks to go, I have debilitating back pain. I don’t complain when I’m not asked, but if I’m out for a walk with a friend and it acts up, I need to lay down and can’t not say anything...

People don’t complain for the sake of complaining.”

Here’s the point I (Aimee) want to make, and I am slightly reluctant to do so, knowing how many of you wish that you could be pregnant.

Pain is pain is pain is pain.

And being pregnant is hard...even after infertility or loss. Some (most) people don’t glow or look cute with their little baby bump.
They’re exhausted. Nauseous. In pain. Can’t get comfortable. Get sciatica. Diabetes of pregnancy. Feel hormonal all the time. Develop new medical problems. And more.

And the “problems” don’t end once that child is in your arms.
There’s delivery complications, breast pain, stretch marks, never sleeping, worrying about how to best take care of this little creature, etc. It’s a lot.

So be grateful, but don’t think that you need to hold all all your feelings inside.

You’re allowed to complain too.