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My Anxiety:

This is a question I could answer in my sleep

Anxiety | Mental Health | Infertility

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7 types of rest we ALL need

Rest is not just sleep

Every person needs different kinds of rest to truly recharge

Which kind of rest speaks to you the most?

Mental Health | Rest | Relaxation

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Keep Showing Up

When people are in pain, it's too hard for them to figure out what they need, let alone reach out to someone and ask if they can do it.

So don't wait - just show up and do it.
"Do you want Chinese or pizza tonight?"
"I'm going to Trader joes and buying those cookies you like. Do you want me to grab fruit and veggies for you to have in the fridge too?"
"I'm going for a walk at 7. I will knock on your door and see if you're up for coming - if you don't respond, I will know that you're not. And then I will try again on Friday."
"I'm coming by at 9 to take your kids to Shabbat groups - don't worry if they're not dressed. I will help them."

But the biggest issue is that people forget about someone after the crisis is over. Grief and pain don't go away just because people are onto the next tragedy.

Keep showing up.

Support | Village | Being There | Fertility Journey | Jewish Woman | Jewish Family

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What not to say…

If you're worried you may inadvertently hurt someone you love struggling to build their family, swipe to read what to avoid and, more importantly, what to say instead

Fertility Journey | Support System | Village

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Nice texts to send

A simple text can make a world of difference to someone struggling to build their family.

But sometimes you don't know what to say.

Swipe to see some suggestions.

Support | Fertility Journey | Jewish Community

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Be a Villager

Being a villager means showing up: to support and to be supported. For some of us, offering support is a challenge, and for others of us, being on the receiving end is hard.

How are you allowing others to support you in this chapter?

For people you count on, let them know about our new support group, Support Space for Friends and Family, dedicated to the support people of those struggling to build their families

Village | Jewish Community | Community Support

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Understanding how to respond

Just because there are two people in a relationship and they go through exactly the same thing, it doesn’t mean that they will feel the same way about it, or grieve as long.

Typically, women grieve longer and harder than men or their partners, who do not carry the pregnancy, because it’s an event that’s happening outside of their body. They feel sad, and they grieve, but they don’t experience the physical or hormonal changes of a pregnancy or a loss. They’re one step removed. This can lead to frustration and discontent from the side that seems to be “carrying” all of the pain, and from the other side, who is often ready to move through the pain.

The disconnect is compounded by society's insistence on a time limit for grief. There’s an unwritten rule that states the shorter the pregnancy, the shorter the amount of time that you’re “allowed” to grieve. And for some, this is true; they grieve a stillbirth for a longer period of time than a chemical pregnancy.

The problem is that this doesn’t account for so many other factors.
-Maybe that chemical pregnancy was after 5 years of IVF with the only good embryo.
-Maybe everyone else is also pregnant now, and that 6-week loss is always on her mind as she compares herself with her friends.
-Maybe she was the first in the family to get married and then pregnant, but having a stillbirth means that another sibling will get the honor of having the first grandchild.

There are so many things we don’t know.

What we do know is that grief should have no limitations and that each person needs to be treated with kindness and sensitivity after a loss.

Pregnancy & Infant Loss | Grief | Marriage | Relationships | Fertility Journey