Quick PSA for those of you who think that when your BFF finally gets pregnant after infertility that it’s a walk in the park.

Or when your sister is expecting after her miscarriage that she will finally be able to breathe normally again.

The trauma doesn’t leave when someone gets pregnant. Sometimes (most of the time for those who have had a loss) a pregnancy can even bring out more anxiety.

Please be kind and sensitive. And respect their feelings when they tell you they can’t come to that meal, bar mitzvah, BBQ or shower. It may be too much for her to be around people who are expecting her to be happy, when she’s feeling anything but that.

Trauma does not go away with a positive pregnancy test.