Don’t Say This: Mikvah Attendant Edition
What NOT to Say As a Mikvah Attendant
“See you soon!” or “see you next month!” For anyone trying to get pregnant, this is a very hurtful thing to say. The mikvah is the last place they want to be.
“I haven’t seen you in a while!” This comment insinuates that you are keeping track of a woman’s cycles, which is never appropriate.
“I’m sorry you are back.” Even if you know that someone is struggling, it’s not appropriate to mention, Your role is to get people in and out, verify that their dip is good, and that’s it.
“What’s on you mind?” If someone is visibly crying, don’t press her for details. Instead ask if she needs more time, wants a few minutes to collect herself, or if there is anything you can do for her. Be supportive, but not intrusive.
“I just know you’ll be pregnant soon.” How do you know? No one knows the future. It’s better to not say anything.
“I heard about your loss, That must have been devastating. What happened?” Coming to the mikvah after loss is very difficult for most women. Instead say, “I heard you lost a baby. I’m sorry. If you need some extra time or support while you are here please let me know.”
“Woah. You look different than last month!” If someone has lost or gained weight, seems bloated or has bruises all over their abdomen and legs, it could be because of fertility treatments, not abuse. Don’t jump to conclusions.
Mikvah is hard for many people in the fertility community and emotions often run high during a visit.
Many innocent things that are said can be sources of pain.
Keep it simple.
It’s better to say nothing than to say something which might be hurtful.