Tired Of Waiting To Be A Mom

“How can you put into words pain that is so tangible?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My hopes and dreams shattered just like that. My water broke and then at 16 weeks, you came out of me. A little girl, a tiny little girl. Oh, how tiny you were! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I held you, I said goodbye to you, I said I was sorry I couldn’t do more for you. You’re buried now back with the ultimate creator. You did what you needed to do and now you’re gone. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And I’m left empty. No more nausea, no more bothering smells, no more (anything). Every time I threw up, I thanked Hashem for it; I was happy to go through that as long as you would come out healthy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But it wasn’t enough - He still wanted you back. I don’t know what to feel anymore or how to stop the tears that won’t stop. I’m so tired of waiting to become a mom.”⠀