Purim Pregnancy Announcements

I got a message yesterday from a woman who said -

"Is it weird that I am super triggered by all the Purim pregnancy announcements even though I too am pregnant? Because it's really setting me off, even as my fetus kicks me in the ribs."

Just for some background, this message was coming from a woman who has had a long and tortuous fertility journey, with multiple rounds of IVF and many miscarriages.

No wonder she was triggered.

But then, I started reflecting on my own situation and I began to wonder why all the pregnancy announcements yesterday triggered me!

I am *years* past my fertility journey, not trying to have any more kids. Our family in complete.

And yet, those 6 miscarriages along with secondary infertility still haunt me.

We talk a lot about rainbow babies here, and how they are incredible, but they don't take away the pain that brought them into your life. They're called "rainbows" for a reason - it's the beauty after a storm.

But in Judaism, rainbows aren't a good thing. They are a reminder that Gd promised Noah after the Flood that He would never again destroy the entire earth if the people acted terribly.

So when I see a rainbow and when I hold a rainbow baby, it's always with a sense of trepidation - because I know what came before.

So to all of you out there who are carrying or holding your rainbows, we see you. We know how hard it was for you to get here. And we know that you will never forget the journey that broke your heart into a million pieces.