Dear Friend

Dear friend,

It's funny how life works and how people behave around others they are uncomfortable around.

You may know me - I'm that girl who has been married for a few years. Yet unlike my peers, I do not have any children yet.

Whether it is my choice or not, you are in no position to be judging.

Because you know what? This is what G-d has given me and I have fought it and complained and almost thrown in the towel so many times but you don't know my struggle so don't even pretend you do.

Do you know what it feels like when every single person you know is pregnant aside from your single friends? And they all expect you to be happy for them.

Do you know how hard it is to hear the comment - "Pregnancy isn't something to look forward to" or "This wasn't what I planned for and I don't want this right now."

Honestly, at that point I would have killed to be pregnant, I would have given anything. But I have come to peace with the fact that this is where G-d needs me to be and He hasn't forgot about me.

And yes, I still have my good days and my bad days. And that still doesn't give you a right to preach to me. Please don't lecture me about emunah (faith). Please don't constantly ask me if I know of this organization or that segulah (merit).

And above all, if you have been in my shoes, please don't pretend you weren't.

I'm not asking you to not talk about your kids/pregnancy around me. On the contrary, I love kids and I love being happy for other people. Just please don't let every conversation revolve around your child's nose and which stroller is best and how annoying it is to not be able to sleep because your kid keeps waking you up.

Give me a chance to contribute to the conversation. Let's talk about work or even the weather.

Because at a certain point I will snap. I will just walk out and not look back because I need to do what is best for me.

And if you do make an insensitive comment and you want to acknowledge it, acknowledge and then move on. But never ever judge and never look down on me, and most importantly, never ever ignore me and pretend I am not there as you talk about all this.

Yes, I may look happy or ok on the outside but that doesn't mean I always feel that way.

And please don't call me strong. I didn't ask to be in this situation and I am far from strong. I know that this is where I need to be even though it is hard so until you are me, never judge.

Think before you blurt out insensitive comments and try to make an effort to realize that the world doesn't only revolve around you and your kid.

Love,

Your friend who is still waiting to have kids