Productive Jealousy
Today marks the beginning of the saddest period on the Jewish Calendar, the beginning of the three weeks, the time in history when the Jewish people were thrown into exile and the Beis Hamikdash (Temple) was destroyed.
We learn that the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed due to sinat chinam (baseless hatred) among Bnei Yisrael. Negativity, jealousy, and hatred towards others for no reason brought about the destruction of the foundation of Jewish life at that time.
This is not to say that all jealousy is destructive. Jealousy is a deeply natural and human emotion and it is very hard to avoid. Within our community there are a myriad of reasons people may feel jealous.
Towards…
people who get pregnant easily and stay pregnant.
people who are happily married.
people with certain spacing between children.
This jealousy is not based in hatred, rather it is based in the sole reason that they want to build a family. They want to feel less lonely. They want to contribute to the next generation of the Jewish people.
Within the IWSTHAB we hear from many of you who have feelings of jealousy. And we want you to know that it is normal. It is not the same baseless hatred that led to the destruction of the Temple.
But what you can do is prepare. You can fill your storehouses with people who love you, be mindful of self-care items and routines, create boundaries to those who don't know how to support you, and have safe spaces where you can feel protected.
Starting this week, people bolstered themselves with food and drink to prepare for the Fast the 17th of Tammuz, today (traditional fast that marks the beginning of the three weeks). This will continue for the next three weeks until Tisha B’Av (fast concluding the end of the three weeks). We invite you to think about how you are going to prepare yourself for what's coming.
Can you switch to a mindset of “productive jealousy”, instead of baseless hatred?
Because jealousy is only detrimental when you spin doomsday scenarios without an end and let it impact your relationships and life.
You can write your own script. You can take protect yourself from the upcoming battle.
And we will be here every step of the way.