Part 1: What does grief look like?
Grief is a natural reaction to loss, but many of us don’t know what grief looks like or recognize it when it shows up. You may have different feelings that come and go, with no rhyme or reason, and grief can cause a whole host of physical and emotional symptoms.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve…and there is no timeline for how long grief lasts.
The five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) are ways to understand the grief process, but most people don’t fit into one of these categories, nor do they progress neatly from one stage to the next. It's much more common to experience a mixture of these stages at any given time.
Some people might find it helpful to seek a grief-trained therapist, and others may want to process on their own. Both of these are okay. But if your grief symptoms start interfering with your life, or if you are still in the active stages of grief, please reach out for mental health support. Please see the resources listed below.
In grief, it is normal to:
Feel numb or feel nothing at all
Be angry at everyone and everything
Feel physically ill
Feel anxious all the time
Not feeling hungry or having an insatiable appetite
Not to be able to sleep or be tired all the time
Cry all the time or not be able to cry
Watch videos of your loved one over and over again, or not want to see them at all
What can you expect in the days, weeks, months, years ahead?
Some days you think you’re okay, and other days you scream at the cashier at the grocery store.
Sometimes you want to tell everyone what happened, and other times, you never want to talk about it again.
Some days you think about all the things you have lost, and others you grieve the future of what could have been.
Some mornings you jump out of bed, and on others you want to stay there all day.
Some days you can laugh, and other days you play that sad song over and over again because you didn’t cry hard enough the first time.
Some days you lean on the people who get you and get it, and others you think that no one can possibly understand the depth of your pain.
Some days you have moments when you forget what happened, and others you can’t stop thinking about the what-ifs.
Some days you feel fine, and other days you leave your phone in the fridge.
Some days you want to be surrounded by people, and other days you want to be left alone.
Some days you wonder if you’re the crazy one or if it’s just society that doesn’t understand grief.
For more resources on grief, check out this comprehensive doc from WebMd.
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