Shalom Bayit
Trigger warning for Sex Addiction
This is difficult to read, but we are sharing it because we believe it's important for people to understand the myriad of things that can prevent people from having a baby.
And sex addiction, like any other kind of addiction, can be damaging to the person engaging in the harmful behaviors, but also has untold repercussions for the families involved.
You just never know what goes on in a marriage and what demons people might be fighting.
“My husband and I both come from large families, and we thought we too would follow that path.
In the rears after our wedding we were blessed with several children in close succession.
The brith of our youngest left me physically exhausted and struggling with postpartum depression.
Our shalom bayis (relationship) faltered.
I consulted with my Rav who validated my concerns about becoming pregnnt again too soon. He advised me to use a method of birth control that would be effective for several years.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, my husband’s sex addition was spiraling out of control.
Several years later, I finally discovered the behavior my husband had been hiding from me, and my life seemed to fall to pieces.
The idea that my husband had been “using” me sexually, as he had used other relationships outside our marriage, was enough to deter me from being intimate with him.
More pragmatically, my husband’s encounters with prostitutes put him - and me - at high risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
STDs range from nuisances to potentially fatal illnesses. I was interested in none of the above.
My husband is slowly progressing in recovery from his addition, one day at a time.
Meanwhile, I don’t feel safe - physically or emotionally - to resume having sex with him.
It’s been about two years since we have had intercourse.
Being the wife of an addict is a heavy burden to bear on many fronts.
One of them is our “emotional infertility.”
I see my peers having babies and growing their families and I know that is not an option for me right now.
It may not be an option again, ever.”