In the Jewish community, where family plays a central role in almost all of our holidays and rituals, not being able to have children might make you feel disconnected, depressed, and lonely. And when you layer cancer on top of the that, at first, you just want to make sure you will survive. But after that, the typical feelings of emptiness, guilt and shame, take over.

How can you be so flippant as to be upset that you don't have kids when you almost died?

And yet, the human mind doesn't work that like. We tend to think about our past challenges as "not that difficult," and focus on what we still have not yet overcome. Even if we know we are lucky to be alive and healthy.

Because once you don't think about getting through chemo or radiation, you start hoping and planning for the future again. And when you might never actualize that dream of having kids (or the *magic* number of kids in your head), it's still a loss.


You might feel you are less masculine or less feminine. You may be very sad or angry that the drugs have changed your body. Your self confidence can drop.