Tisha B'Av Reflections From The IWSTHAB Community

"This is my first year not fasting in a while. Any time a moment of guilt pops up, I remind myself of the sadness and difficulties I’m going through – doing IVF for genetic reasons with a recent failed transfer – and that reminds me of galut.

I don’t need the fast to feel sad, I feel it deeply."

"This time, last year, I wrote to you from a place of immense pain. Rereading what I wrote, I am in awe of how while we are still struggling as we were this time last year with infertility, it’s not the same intense emotions.

Last year I wrote how Tisha B’Av turned out to be a real Tisha B’Av for me & my husband where we were really in a low place, lots of crying, tears & pain.

It is incredible what a year can do. How despite being in the same situation, we are miles ahead in our relationship, marriage, coping strategies, moods, etc."

"I felt safe – (may not be the right word) – but I felt less guilty when I broke my fast today after chazot because of your post.

I’m learning to be gentler with myself and not judge myself so harshly about things.

For almost 2 weeks I have been giving myself 4 injections a day – 2 am and 2 pm. Insomnia, nausea, bloating, cramps BARUCH HASHEM for it all. Blood work back to back days in a row. Trigger shot was last night. Egg retrieval BzH they get some good ones early tomorrow AM.

I felt validated to do what I needed to do – to stay and keep my body healthy and strong for what’s coming up next."

"Even though obviously pregnancy-related issues are not something I am dealing with, I appreciate the strong PSA about not asking about fasting. There have been times when I’m not allowed to fast for various reasons and it’s really uncomfortable when people ask.

It’s hard enough for me as it is that I’m not fasting when I know I “should” be, but people asking makes it worse."