“What I don’t hear people talking about when they talk about infertility is how insanely confusing it is.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Before I had to deal with secondary infertility and pregnancy loss, I always thought that a couple goes to a clinic, finds out the reason for their infertility, and does the necessary treatment for it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But that’s really not the case with me. I became pregnant with my daughter after I was married for 3 months. When she was 2, we started trying to get pregnant and month after month I was crushed when I saw red. We started working with the organizations and infertility doctors, doing tests, and couldn’t come up with a reason.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It was unexplained.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Then my husband got tested again and his count was low.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The dr told me my chances were minuscule at conceiving naturally. But then I did, the very next month. I was thrilled and relieved to stop doing so many tests.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But then I miscarried at 8 weeks.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It was beyond horrible to wait for many months and then be so devastated. My daughter asks for siblings all the time and its so hard.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We were advised to wait a few months before resuming our infertility tests to see if I could get pregnant naturally again. After 5 months, we went back to the doctors. And I got pregnant naturally again.

This time I miscarried at 10 weeks.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Life can be so cruel sometimes.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Now we are doing genetic testing to see if these miscarriages are a result of that.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My point here is that this whole process is so confusing.

First it’s unexplained.
Then its low sperm count.
Then pregnant.
Then miscarriage.
More tests.
More questions.
And so many blood tests and sonograms and appointments in between all of that.

Never any answers.

We just can’t seem to get to the bottom of this and my daughter is getting bigger and bigger with each month that passes. I am very grateful for her, but I very badly want to have more children.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s just so upsetting not to know what’s wrong and how to fix it.”