I Was Supposed To Have A Baby

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Not What You Think

“People make assumptions about me all the time.

They see that we’ve been married for 5 years and I live in the kind of community where it’s typical to have children right away.

But soon after we got married, I started bleeding irregularly. I spent two months bleeding every other day and couldn’t go to the mikvah (ritual bath) for even longer.

Imagine just being married and starting to try to build a life with someone, but you can’t touch, pass each other food or sleep in the same bed? It was tortuous.

After denying that anything was wrong and then realizing that so much was wrong, I spent the next few months going to doctors and and getting tests.

And within six months of my wedding, I had a hysterectomy for inoperable cancer.

So yes, I’m infertile.

But not because of what you think.”


Jewish law states that a husband and wife may not have sex during the time she has her period and for another seven days afterwards. There are also a number of other laws that govern this time period that prevent a couple from getting to that point- i.e. no touching, no sharing food, no sleeping in the same bed, etc)