“You crept up this year. I wasn't ready for you.
I'm not ready for you.
And I'm not entirely sure why.
Maybe I just want today to be as normal as a Sunday under our circumstances can be.
Maybe I just want to be caught up in laundry and weekend cleanup and have those be my biggest problems.
Maybe it's because I don't want to know what day it is, what month it is.
Because I find myself mourning what this year could have been.
What was supposed to have been.
What I had intricately planned for.
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Maybe it's because the whole world is grieving right now, and this just feels like pouring salt on the wound.
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Maybe it's because I am not ready to have a week dedicated to a part of me that is full of hope and heartbreak.
Not ready to feel emotion spiralling so deeply, I don't know how I'm ever going to resurface.
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I really was not ready for you, #NIAW.
Maybe because I feel utterly and completely robbed of time, that a whole week with you just seems ironic.
Because if this pandemic has taught me anything it's that time is one of the most precious possessions that we have on this earth.
And I don't want to be reminded of how much time has passed.
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I’m not ready for you.
But I'll get there.
Because you're here, National Infertility Awareness Week.
You are here and you are present and you are dedicating your time to educate and to spread awareness and to be our voice when we simply cannot find ours.
You are here to advocate for us, the TTC community.
You are here to celebrate us.
To recognize our strength.
Our passion.
You are here with respect, holding space for our feelings.
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So I thank you, for giving us a week.
Thank you for showing up.
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I'm not ready for you, quite yet.
But I'll get there.
I promise. “