I Was Supposed To Have A Baby

View Original

No Right Way to Do This

I get a version of this message a few times a week.

Some people grieve for months or years over their 10 week miscarriage and find the whole process so traumatic that they will never try again. Some worry about every doctor appointment, scan, needle, bruise, medicine and test result when going through the infertility process.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And some don’t.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I know many people who had a miscarriage and went back to work the next day, because it just wasn’t that big of a deal to them. It happened, they were sad for a bit and decided to move on.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I also know others going through the IVF process in the same way they do their taxes. It’s annoying, and very tedious, but it’s something that needs to be to done to have a baby, and they just do it. They don’t lose sleep, they don’t talk to the whole world about side effects and early appointments. They just get it done matter-of-factly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And that’s ok.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There’s no right way to do this. You do what works for you.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you want to grieve, grieve.
If you want to complain, then do that too.
If you want sympathy for everything you are going through, then share that with people.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But if you don’t, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just doing what feels right for you.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So keep doing that.