I Was Supposed To Have A Baby

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Circumstantial Infertility - Waiting for the Right Time

"I really resonate with this circumstantial infertility concept. I waited much longer than I wanted to for my first because my husband was in school, and he didn’t want to try yet. When we finally did, I had a miscarriage but then thankfully got pregnant again right away. We had to wait until he finally had a job to start trying for kid #2 and ended up having halachic infertility during that process, so our kids were a lot further apart than I’d hoped. When I did get pregnant, it was a pretty horrible pregnancy. I had hyperemesis which led to depression/anxiety, and it was difficult figuring out meds to go well with pregnancy; Everything made me nauseous.🙈

Anyways, long story short, I always wanted a big family. Still, I know that because of my pregnancies and deliveries (I’ve only had c-sections and will need them going forward), I really need to recover before I try again, and not sure I can try again more than once. Also, I found out during this last pregnancy that I had the BRCA gene, so that put a time limit on things since I’ll have to remove my ovaries at some point.

All this is to say that I, thankfully, have not gone through infertility in the way many have. However, I still feel a part of this because everything regarding pregnancy and kids for me is just not fun, and I get a little envious when I see people who have kids so close in age and things like that.

I just tell myself this is what HaShem decided I could handle. And I’m thankful for the kiddos that I do have, BH (thank gd)." - Anonymous