Yes, you can imagine it.

But saying this implies that you don't want to, because it's too uncomfortable for you.

And how is that helpful to the person suffering?

It's not.

Look, we know that you mean no harm when you say this kind of thing, but it can feel really invalidating and lonely when you do. Would the world be a safer place if no one could imagine these terrible, horrible things? No.

But your job as a friend, as a confidant, is to sit and listen the person, and for that moment in time, sit with them in their pain. Imagine what it must be like. You'll never get the *full* picture, but when you open yourself up to difficult emotions, you're helping the person struggling to feel *seen.*

So, listen to us.
Open your hearts and minds.
Allow us to grieve when and where we need.
And don't try to fix this.

Because you can't.